Cannibal Corpse

BellaVendetta: Ok so, we’re doing this interview for BurningAngel.com; do you know about the site?

Corpsegrinder: Um, a little bit - yeah, Kelli from Metal Blade told me about it.

BellaVendetta: Awww awesome, what did she tell you?

Corpsegrinder: It was AWESOME when she told me!

BellaVendetta: Oh good; she wasn't like, "These annoying porno chicks want to ask you stupid questions."

Corpsegrinder: No man, I was like FUCK YEAH! I mean, there's a box of porn right there!

BellaVendetta: Our porno is better than anything you have in that box!

Jessie Lee: Did you actually go to the site?

Corpsegrinder: I know I have...I think I have -

BellaVendetta: You'd remember if you did! But, when this interview goes up, your face will be on the front page of a porn site.

Corpsegrinder: FUCK YEAH! 

BellaVendetta: It'll kind of be like you're a porn star.

Corpsegrinder: Maybe Real Doll will notice and hook me up! I need a Real Doll on tour; that would be AWESOME!

BellaVendetta: Well, I don’t know about a Real Doll, but we will give you a password to the site - lots of free porn!

Jessie Lee: Lots and lots and lots of dirty videos of both of us!

Corpsegrinder: AWESOME!

BellaVendetta: Actually, they're making a doll of Joanna Angel; she's the hot bitch who owns the company. Maybe we can get you one of those. She's very small; she'd look really small next to you!

Jessie Lee: She's very compact.

Corpsegrinder: I'd split her in half. Not trying to brag or anything, not saying I'm the hugest dude in the world but...you know.

BellaVendetta: I know. Ok, so some bands we interview get really freaked out if we wanna ask them about porn. Obviously you're ok with that because you just showed me a box of porn, right?

Corpsegrinder: I love porn.

BellaVendetta: Do you watch it all the time?

Corpsegrinder: Not ALL the time, I mean...I jerk off enough...sure. I used to buy, like, tons of porn on tour but I’ve been lucky, a lot of people give me free porn.

BellaVendetta: So you don't go out and search for like, gang bang Asians and shit like that?

Corpsegrinder: I usually don't care...I just wanna see some fucking, ya know? It's all good. I'm not like, obsessed with porn stars; I don't know all the names and everything. I know some names, probably older ones because I'm an old fucker.

BellaVendetta: A lot of the members on the site are Cannibal Corpse fans. There seems to be a big overlap of porn loving metal loving dudes.

Corpsegrinder: Well, most people would think we're not really into that because we sing about like, raping and murdering girls but, we're just singing about it. We still like sex with live girls.

BellaVendetta: So no rape and murder, you're just singing about it, that's all?

Corpsegrinder: Sure, yeah!

BellaVendetta: So the last 3 times I've seen you guys were all at big festivals.

Corpsegrinder: Which ones?

BellaVendetta: Well, Mayhem Fest last summer...

Corpsegrinder: Fuck yeah...Mayhem Fest!

BellaVendetta: Do you prefer big festivals or do you miss, like, headlining a CB show?

Corpsegrinder: Well, we're actually on tour right now; this festival is just one gig. But, I don't prefer headlining. I actually really like festivals. Like, Mayhem Fest last year was great; we played and then as soon as that was done, we got to go to the main stage and see SLAYER! And, I just can't say enough good things about Mayhem Fest. I didn't wanna leave that festival. I did not wanna go home. I loved that tour. It was awesome.

BellaVendetta: Please don't cry.

Corpsegrinder: Listen, I really was upset when it was over! A lot of the bands were taking off early. Like, before we played and there was a party, Bullet For My Valentine threw a big party the night before, in Dallas, and so everybody pretty much said goodbye then, but we all figured we had one more show so we'd say goodbye then but, that wasn't the case. The show was great but it sucked that it had to end. It's cool because we're seeing the Whitechapel guys  and Job For A Cowboy guys today and they were on Mayhem Fest so that's awesome.

Jessie Lee: Whitechapel played Thursday; they were so good! Really, really fucking good. They were like, the surprise band for the pre-party. It was a nice surprise!

BellaVendetta: So I made myself little notes for this interview and in really small writing I wrote, "'The Discipline of Revenge' is such a good song, good enough to listen to 3 times…maybe 4." What song are you listening to on repeat right now?

Corpsegrinder: What Cannibal Corpse song?

BellaVendetta: No! I mean, you guys are really good but I don't think you sit around listening to yourself on repeat all day, do you?

Corpsegrinder: Well, actually, this band...Cancerslug!  They're the best band, without a doubt. There's an older CD of theirs - Whore - that I listen to a lot, and they have a newer one - Tales of a Butcher. I actually play in another band with 2 of the guys that played on that album. And they recorded where we've recorded some stuff and...the newer stuff is like more metal guitar. I listen to two bands a lot right now. Watain and Cancerslug. Which are two different spectrums ya know. Watain is black metal, Cancerslug are punk rock. GO BUY A CANCERSLUG ALBUM! Trust me. It's in the vein of like - the older stuff is just 100% punk rock and even the newer album has a lot of songs they re-did. Like in the vein of Black Flag; you'll definitely hear some Misfits. But, Alex's lyrics - the singer - are just...man it's the best band. Seriously, I make everyone on this tour bus hate them, not because they really hate them, but because I play them so much! They're just like, "Man! Are we really listening to this AGAIN!?" As soon as the show is over tonight, I guarantee you I will be in this bus, drinking beer, listening to Cancerslug. Just partying, beer, Cancerslug...and you girls! GIRLS!

BellaVendetta: Jessie Lee doesn't drink; she tries to be the voice of reason. But she likes to watch people get drunk

Jessie Lee: I do. I got a bracelet just so I could buy Bella a drink today.

Corpsegrinder: It's cool to watch people drink but, usually I'm the one drinking.

BellaVendetta: So, this is your first interview today? We got you before you were sick of answering stupid questions.

Corpsegrinder: Oh no, I never get sick of it. I only have 2 today, and they're both video interviews. I look like hell; I just woke up!

BellaVendetta: It's ok; we'll write about how beautiful you looked...with your long hair glistening.

Corpsegrinder: Oh but it's not; look at it! It’s nast!

BellaVendetta: Ew! Get it out of here! Hahaha.

Corpsegrinder: I don't care, I'm gonna be on stage. Eventually I'll take a shower.

BellaVendetta: Maybe a bubble bath.

Corpsegrinder: Yah! And watch the new porno that I got and...rub one out. Haha.

BellaVendetta: Yes! So we were talking today about how we hate doing multiple interviews in a day and getting asked the same stupid questions over and over. Is there a least favorite question that people always seem to ask?

Corpsegrinder: I don't ever get aggravated if it's the same questions. That's what happens - ya know? You're gonna get asked the same questions by different people.

(At this point in the conversation, a cute, shirtless tattooed boy ducks in the room and grabs some clothes and Jessie Lee laughs and blushes)

Jessie Lee: I know you! (Of course she does!)

Corpsegrinder: Anyways: put it this way, if we’re in Arizona one day and the next day we're in New Orleans, people are just going to ask the same questions that they all think are pertinent. I guess one annoying one is "Well, what was the experience of recording the album?’" - ya know...it was just like recording the last album. Yah there's some songs that are harder to record but really, otherwise, we approach it the same way. I do interviews with Bill Zebub of the Grimoire of Exhaulted Deeds and he asks me the best questions. He's awesome. I was like, "If the band gets that interview, I want it, it's all me!" He always tries to get me to sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb", and one time I did but...his recorder, something got fouled up and his tape got eaten so...HA! He's awesome though; I love that magazine.

BellaVendetta: Well, our least favorite question is: "What is your favorite position?" You've probably never been asked that in an interview.

Corpsegrinder: Oh, hmmm...I don't know. Anthing that involves giving anal. Putting it up someone's ass.

BellaVendetta: Ohhhh. That's weird ya know; I know a lot of metal guys who are really into anal sex.

Corpsegrinder: Well, I'm not into getting it, I'm into giving it. But I can go all night. I enjoy a whole bunch of different ones so I can't just pick one. There's gotta be some variation. It can't just be boom-boom-boom-done...I mean, that's no fun.

(I think Jessie’s totally getting turned on by this point)

BellaVendetta: Do you have a favorite or least favorite album of 2010?

Corpsegrinder: I don't know...all I listen to is Cancerslug and Watain.

BellaVendetta: Wow, don't let the guys on MayhemFest hear you say that; they all have new albums out!

Corpsegrinder: No, I'm just a lazy bastard. When I get into something, I just shut everything else off.

BellaVendetta: So how long has this been going on with you and Cancerslug? Months?

Corpsegrinder: For awhile; it's weird because I play in another band called Paths of Posession - I sing in this band, and the bass player/backup singer Randy he LOVES Cancerslug and he would always tell me, "Dude, you've gotta listen to them!" I had some CDs and I listened to 'em but I dunno; recently I've just been on it. Jack who plays on the newest album gave me a copy of it and I was just like, "What have I been missing!?" They're playing in Tampa in May.

BellaVendetta: So you're gonna go?

Corpsegrinder: I'm gonna mangle anybody who gets in my way. So to answer your question: I haven't been listening to anything else.

BellaVendetta: Is there anything you hate that you're forced to listen to?

Corpsegrinder: Ha. No, I'm not forced to listen to anythin.

BellaVendetta: No one FORCES Corpsegrinder to do anything!

Corpsegrinder: No, honestly when I'm home, I'm playing World of Warcraft or watching MonsterQuest on tv or something.

(At this point Autumn, who’s been holding the camera, gets really excited.)

BellaVendetta: Be careful...Autumn is getting excited...I don’t know if we can talk about World of Warcraft.

Corpsegrinder: Why not!? After the next interview I have, I'm about to get it on! YAH! Hardcore for sure.

BellaVendetta: You have a character based on you in Warcraft now?

Corpsegrinder: Yah...Corpsegrinder. Oh, I was so flattered. I mean that's a big deal to me. That's my favorite game and they made a character on me, you can't beat that. Warcraft is all I do when I'm at home. I'm not, like, listening to the radio or anything.

BellaVendetta: You're not missing anything.

Corpsegrinder: I know! When I was younger working construction with my dad, we'd listen to the radio and you hear the same 20 songs all day. It was terrible.

BellaVendetta: I know. When I started working in strip clubs I had never really listened to the radio, but now I'm forced to listen to this shit all the time and people love it and get excited for the same Lady Gaga remix over and over.

Jessie Lee: I like Lady Gaga.

BellaVendetta: I know I know. Bad example.

Corpsegrinder: Well, on World of Warcaft, that's all people say about Lady Gaga. I don't even know one song from the next.

BellaVendetta: Well, then you are living a charmed lif.

Corpsegrinder: I'm secluded! I'm an azeroth; in World of Warcraft I don't care about anything! If I go out farming or mining or shit, I just turn the game sound down and put on Cancerslug and go for it.

Jessie Lee: Autumn is the only one who knows what you are talking about; she’s getting really excited right now.

BellaVendetta: Well, people think Jessie Lee IS Lady Gaga. They say she looks like her.

Corpsegrinder: Well...she's pretty so if Lady Gaga looks like her, maybe I should be checking out Lady Gaga.

BellaVendetta: Hahah - you shouldn't check out Lady Gaga; you should just check out Jessie Lee on BurningAngel.com!

Corpsegrinder: I heard Lady Gaga is a man though, is that true?

Jessie Lee: I heard she's a hermaphrodite.

Corpsegrinder: Wow. That'd be cool. I'd fuck myself all day long if I could.

Jessie Lee: If Lady Gaga really has a penis, I would totally fuck the shit out of Lady Gaga all day and all night. I would ride her disco stick.

BellaVendetta: She might fall in love with you. You should write to her. I heard she's not very nice to her fans though.

Corpsegrinder: That's not cool man. Ya know...we're fans too. I'm just a douchebag in a band.

BellaVendetta: Do you ever write love letters to Cancerslug?

Corpsegrinder: No well...I know them...I've met Alex.

Jessie Lee: Do you guys text each other? Do you sext them?

Corpsegrinder: No! I don't sext any guy! No.Hahaha.

BellaVendetta: Do you text them like, "I'm watching porn with the sound off listening to Cancerslug - fuck yeah!"

Corpsegrinder: Haha - I'm fucking someone in the ass and listening to Cancerslug! Nah, I've only met Alex, the singer, once.

BellaVendetta: Were you like a total fan boy?

Corpsegrinder: Well, at the time I wasn't really listening to them! It was when we were doing the vocals for Evisceration Plague. But that's alright; I'll see them in May.

BellaVendetta: You can profess your love then.

Corpsegrinder: I'm definitely gonna tell them, "I love you guys!" That's why I'm always wearing this Cancerslug shirt!

BellaVendetta: Do you ever take it off?

Corpsegrinder: Yah, I had to cut the sleeves a little bit today.

BellaVendetta: That's true love. So, are you ever gonna stop touring or is it just gonna go on and on and on until you die?

Corpsegrinder: Well, eventually we have to stop touring. I'm not saying we have to stop being a band, but eventually we have to stop touring, and this summer is gonna be crazy. We'll be in Israel, on my birthday actually. I’ll be...1.

Jessie Lee: Hahahaha - you'll finally be old enough to rent porn!

Corpsegrinder: No...I'll be 40.

BellaVendetta: All that means is that you get a birthday month!

Corpsegrinder: Well, I don't feel 40, so that's great. But, I love it; this is what I love to do.

BellaVendetta: Do you ever think about having a normal life?

Corpsegrinder: I love doing this, I really do. The fans are great, I have a great time hanging out and partying and I enjoy doing this. I had a little bit of a time in my life where I didn't love doing this, something just effected my brain and, I know I made the other guys a little miserable on tour. I don't think it ever showed on stage because I still loved playing but...now...I'm back! I love doing this! This is a dream come true. When I was a kid, this was all I ever wanted to do. When I was a kid, I'd just have my notebooks with band names and lyrics written on em...my teacher would be like, "Why don't you contribute to class?" and I would just be like, "Man, I don't even want to be here. I'm gonna be in a band"

BellaVendetta: Did you graduate high school?

Corpsegrinder: Fuck no. But I'm not saying that's a good thing...get an education, definitely.

BellaVendetta: Drop out of school now, you can be a porn star like me or a rock star like Corpsegrinder.

Corpsegrinder: Or you might be a bum on the street; it's like rolling a 3-sided dice. I could have stayed in school and got an education but I had blinders on; I only wanted one thing; to be in a band. And with luck and help and hard work, I got here.

BellaVendetta: YAY! Yay for all of us!

Corpsegrinder: Who wouldn't wanna be here? I'm doing an interview with beautiful ladies, we're gonna play a great show tonight, gonna hang out drink beer, everyone has a common love for heavy music, what more could you possibly want? There's other things I love, like Warcraft.

BellaVendetta: There will be plenty of time for Warcraft when you're home. So you've played everywhere pretty much; is there a favorite place you have to play?

Corpsegrinder: I don't like to say favorite because then people get all, "Fuck you, asshole." Well, one of the best places to play...last night was really good actually.

BellaVendetta: WESTERN MASS!!!

Corpsegrinder: One of the greatest places to play is South America.

BellaVendetta: They love you guys over there.

Corpsegrinder: Yes and it's insane there! When people ask me what the craziest crowds are - hands down, South America. Just the most dedicated hardcore death metal maniacs there are. They're insane ina good way. We played in Argentina and these kids just stormed the stage and this kid slipped in water and just grabbed onto my leg in like fetal position and was just like, "I LOVE YOU!" And he wouldn't let me go. He was just so...ya know. Into it. Imagine some dude hanging on my fat ass leg. It's just like no other place. I mean I've signed stuff for people and they're just -

BellaVendetta: Has anyone cried?

Corpsegrinder: Actually a couple people. At Mayhem one time this girl was in line for a signing; her boyfriend was getting her stuff signed. And I was like, "What's wrong with you?" Ya know, she looked upset, she was crying! I was like "Are you crying because we suck or because you love the band?" and her boyfriend was just like "Yeah, she just loves the band." Music's a powerful thing. And that's why, when you hear that somebody's a jackass to the fans...when somebody's that dedicated to the band...that sucks. It's rare in death metal because if I saw that, I'd jack up whoever did it. You don't do that to people anyway, but you definitely don't do it to somebody who supports you. It's a two-way street; they support us and hopefully we support them by putting out a good album and a good show. To stop and take a picture with a fan is like, no big deal. Some people give us the finger because we didn't sign everything, because we HAVE to go - there's a plane to catch or something, ya know. We don't wanna do that but sometimes we have to. Like, right now after this interview, I'm gonna go out in the crowd and talk to people. It's not as good to see a band from the side of the stage.

BellaVendetta: So you still go with the commonfolk and watch the show with the regular fans?

Corpsegrinder: Yup.

BellaVendetta: Do you destroy people in the pit?

Corpsegrinder: I don't go out and slam dance, no! If I fucked up my hand or something, ya know.

Jessie Lee: I don't think anyone would fuck with you in the pit...I wouldn't!

Corpsegrinder: Really, if I broke my leg and I could stand in a cast, I would still do the show.

BellaVendetta: I fractured my kneecap last fall and still shot porn in a cast and crutches.

Corpsegrinder: See, there ya go. I'm sure it's pretty physically demanding. I mean, every job. I mean, even now people think we're on tour, we're hangin out in a bus, partying all the time...and some of us are, but there's still work to be done. It's not all fun and games. I know a lot of guys are like, "Oh yah, I’d be a porn star, I'd fuck chicks."

BellaVendetta: Yah a lot of guys think it's really easy to be in porn and they all would be good at it.

Corpsegrinder: Yah and these guys are jerkin' off to a porno, how long do you think they're lasting? And then you're gonna tell me you wouldn't be 1: nervous shooting with a super hot porn star and 2: just be like, "I'm gonna shoot right now, fuck, and then you’re done!"

BellaVendetta: Yah, and then everyone gets mad at you and you've ruined the scene for the day and wasted everyone's day.

Corpsegrinder: I know, I mean I've never made porn but I can imagine.

BellaVendetta: You haven't? There's not gonna be a Corpsegrinder sex tape scandal ever?

Corpsegrinder: No!

BellaVendetta: Dammnit. Well, we do have a video camera with us.

Corpsegrinder: HAHAHAHA!

BellaVendetta: Juuuuuuuust kidding

(Kind of...And then Corpsegrinder laughs and blushes and maybe we even make him nervous and it’s cute. Shortly after that, Autumn and Corpsegrinder start talking about World of Warcraft again and then we start talking about how Joanna Angel should be a character on Metalocalypse. And then we talk about porn again and he nonchalantly lets on that he likes double penetration porn. So I nonchalantly mention that Jessie Lee, who’s sitting right next to him, was nominated for "Best Double Penetration Scene" two years ago for a Burning Angel movie.)

Corpsegrinder: Really!? That's AWESOME! I'm totally gonna go check this out.

BellaVendetta: You're gonna see her on film and be like, "I can't believe this girl was on my tour bus! Look at her go! She's a filthy little slut!"

Jessie Lee: Yah, in person I may seem sweet and stuff but on film I’m pretty nasty.

Corpsegrinder: Yah, whenever we do the song, "Fucked With a Knife," it goes out to all the girls, and most importantly, not just all the girls, but all the SLUTS! (Said while throwing his fist in the air)

BellaVendetta: Yah some girls get offended by the word "slut". We embrace it.

Jessie Lee:You can't be into metal if you're offended by the word "slut"!

Corpsegrinder: Everytime I say it, all the guys will go: YAAAAH! So I never hear the girls scream, and I KNOW they're out there.

BellaVendetta: Don't girls like, get excited and flash you?

Corpsegrinder: No! They're afraid of us! They think we wanna like, bite their tits off or something. We won't lick em, we'll eat em. But women shouldn't be offended because in the lyrics of that song, a chick has a whip and stuff and right before the guy is gonna cum she kills him.

BellaVendetta: So it's really like a female empowerment anthem.

Corpsegrinder: Right. Yah, the women have all the control.

Jessie Lee: Nice, that's sadistic. I like it.

BellaVendetta: Jessie likes that stuff; you're getting her excited.

Corpsegrinder: Uh oh...hahahah! Yah, I mean that's cool. We have a lot of songs about like, hurting women, but we don't actually DO that stuff obviously. I would never kill a woman and - 

Jessie Lee: - and you can't rape the willing.

Corpsegrinder: True. But fantasies are ok. I mean like, if a girl wants to have me slap her and talk dirty and stuff, there's nothing wrong with that.

BellaVendetta: Look at Jessie; her eyes are all glazed over and she's stroking her hair like, "Tell me more"

Jessie Lee: Hahahaha - I like that stuff. A little biting.

Corpsegrinder: A little biting is ok.

BellaVendetta: Whatever. I've had fucking huge bruised perfect little Jessie Lee bite marks all over my ass for days!

Jessie Lee: That's because you were cupping my vagina and getting me excited! Hahahaha!

Corpsegrinder: That's awesome!

BellaVendetta: So, do you think a lot more people know about the band since Metalocalypse has come out and Brendon has said he based Nathan Explosion off of you basically?

Corpsegrinder: Yah of course; a lot more people who found that out and maybe haven't heard us will listen to the band and that's awesome. And a lot of people think I do the voice, but I don't - that's Brendon, that's all Brendon. When he first asked me to do some stuff for the show, I hadn't even seen it. Then I went home and watched it and was like, "This cartoon is fuckin' awesome!"

Jessie Lee: It's actually one of my favorite cartoons.

Corpsegrinder: It's great! It's so well-done. So I got to go to LA and see all the story boards and see all the different people working on it, so that was awesome. SO I always thank those guys, they've helped us so much. Cuz when Dethklok's second album came out, it sold an assload of copies. And also things like, all the touring we've been doing is paying off. I know Mayhem Fest helped a lot. Because you're touring with like Slayer and Killswitch Engage and a lot of people know who those bands are and come to see them.

BellaVendetta: Yah, Mayhem Fest was cool because you had like, really old-school metalheads coming to see Slayer and then like, really young 13-year-old kids coming to see Manson who maybe didn't know who Cannibal Corpse was.

Corpsegrinder: I know; I mean everything about it. All the bands were like a family. Even the people who ran the booths and merchandise, just everybody on that tour was awesome.

BellaVendetta: So, the people that are reading this right now are like, taking a break from looking at porn and jerking off to read your thoughts on porn. Do you have a message for all the masturbators?

Corpsegrinder: Don't point your shit my way! Unless you're a girl that can squirt and then I'm all for it!

(And then I tell him that Jessie can squirt and we hug him and make him blush again. The end!)