Funny, I was just reading an interview with Jeffree Star on Inked when Burning Angel sent me his new disco disc, Beauty Killer. I think he describes his disc far better than I ever could: "Close your eyes and picture how it felt to have your hymen broken, and the feeling the next day when the guy never called you back. That's how it feels to listen to my album for the first time. It's refreshing and more fun than a Chuck E. Cheese bitch fight between parents. I'm not Mastodon, but if you wanna escape reality for 50 minutes because you can't afford meth anymore, then you might like Beauty Killer.”

The rest of the interview is pretty funny too. Reading it made me think of this girl (pictured below) that Joanna and I fell in love with last weekend at the Exxxotica Convention in Jersey (where Draven told me she sat through her 11-hour angel wing tattoo in one session and I, jokingly, said I didn’t believe her, and now I’m pretty sure we’re broken up).

Anyway, her name was Bailey. She’s from Virginia and SHE HAS A WIENER! You’d never know it. She was the most convincing wiener-wielding woman I have ever met. Even when she showed us, I didn’t believe it. For me, she was the highlight of the entirely too-absurd day full of far too many over-the-hill women with way too much cottage cheese. I loved watching all the greasy guidos try and hit on her and take photos with hard-ons and dirty thoughts in their head as she smiled coyly, laughing about her little secret. Thanks, Bailey. High five to you and your wiener.

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