I like Peeches. Not Peeches’ dancy dance music, but I like the sex machine that is the lady Peeches. But do we really need more albums? I thought we were done with this. Are there not enough songs in the world for strippers to strip to? I thought Peeches was a fad like furbies and troll dolls, and yet she keeps coming out with new albums. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I get it already. No need to beat a dead horse. You’re a sex-loving dance music-making lady-pants. Understood.

So rather than waste any more of our time discussing Peeches, I’d rather tell you that Vice has ok’d my idea for a porn star documentary show and one of the first girls I’m gonna fuck - I mean film - will be Joanna in July. We’ll go on adventures! I’ll go film her dance in Connecticut and interview her with a mic in her face as she has a wiener in her butt. Hard-hitting journalism at its finest. After Joanna, I’ll do Jessie Lee. Mmmmm, Jessie Lee. And right on down the list. We can finally learn what the ladies of BurningAngel have to say when there isn’t a penis in their mouths. It’s gonna be awesome.

For more stupid, visit www.chrisnieratko.com.