Electric Six

(Phone dialing...ring...ring...ring...ring)

Dick: Hello?

Joanna: Heeeyyy...can you hear me?

Dick: Hello?

Joanna: Is this Dick?

Dick: Hello?

Joanna: Grrrrrrrrr.

(CLICK - Joanna hangs up...more phone ringing)

Joanna: Hello?

Dick: Hey...someone just called me from this number.

Joanna: Yeah...my phone does this thing sometimes where I call people and I can hear them but they can't hear me...

Dick: Oh, that must be embarrassing...

Joanna: (laughing) Yeah, it's really frustrating...I was like, “I can hear you! Are you there!?!”

Dick: You need to take your phone to a phone doctor.

Joanna: Yeah, I know. Ok, let me see – is this thing recording? YES – we are on!

Dick: Sounds good to me!

Joanna: It's gonna be the best 20 minutes of your life!

Dick: Well thanks!

(Joanna giggles)

Joanna: Ok, so I know your name, 'cause I just called you...and it's popping up on my caller ID, so I know your real name, but that's ok – we're not going to share it with anybody...

Dick: Oh, I don't care!

Joanna: Ok, Spencer – is that your name?

Dick: That's my last name.

Joanna: Oh, ok, it says "Spencer" on my phone. Now I can stalk you...

Dick: Just like Princess Diana...

Joanna: Yeah, I can send you pig hearts and stuff...well, what do you like to be called? What are you usually called when you're not being called Spencer?

Dick: What do I call myself? I call myself "me"...

Joanna: How do other people address you?

Dick: Oh... "Sir"...

Joanna: (Laughs) So everybody addresses you with respect, all the time?

Dick: Yeah, it's best if that's how you refer to me.

Joanna: Ok, cool – so how long have you been playing in Electric Six? Is Electric Six just you?

Dick: "Is Electric Six just you, SIR?"...

Joanna: Sir, I have a question...do you have a moment for a question, Sir?

Dick: I do...I have about 20 minutes.

Joanna: Is Electric Six just you?

Dick: Is it just me? It's not just me – there are six of us.

Joanna: How come I only see you in the videos?

Dick: Well...we have two videos now...

Joanna: Is that you in the "Gay Bar" video?

Dick: Yes, that's me in the "Gay Bar" video...and clones of me...that was a different period of time when we were with a different record label, and we were using different video directors and there was a movement where they only wanted me in the video...and that's how it was...we didn't really have any say or control.

Joanna: Oh...was everyone else in the band really fat or something?

Dick: Really fat? Ummm...no...it didn't have anything to do with that, I don't think.

Joanna: Are you sure about that?

Dick: It was never really explained to me...it was sort of just explained that "this is the way it's gonna be, or you get no video."

Joanna: Ok – it's a good video, nonetheless.

Dick: Yeah...we weren't really in control of things then the way we're in control now.

Joanna: Oh! Well, that's awesome – how did that happen? Are you not working for “the man” anymore?

Dick: Well, we're sort of self-employed...we have our own record label now called Metropolis Records, so we have freedom -

Joanna: That's really important, right?

Dick: Yeah, yeah it is. They don't have all the juice of a big major label, but we get to tour and have a cult following and do it more on our terms, and we'd rather do that then have to, ummm – you know. We've done it both ways, and it was nice to be on a bigger stage, but -

Joanna: Were you on a major label before?

Dick: We were on a couple...we were on XL Recordings – for the first record...and the second record came out on Warner UK...and now the third record is out on Metropolis.

Joanna: I knew I was interviewing you this morning, and so I have your song in my head, and it won't get out.

Dick: We have 400 songs...which one are you referring to?

Joanna: The “danger” song..."Danger! High Voltage"...I really like that song – it's one of my favorite songs, and not just of your guys' songs, but in general. It's a good song.

Dick: Well, great.

Joanna: I don't know if you're sick of people saying that, and if you wanted me to say some other track that not that many people know, but unfortunately -

Dick: That is what I want -

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: Maybe next time you should bone up on your Electric Six discography...

Joanna: I know, I really wanted to! But instead I went shopping.

Dick: Well, that's fine too – if I were in your shoes, that's what I would do.

(Joanna laughs)

Joanna: Ok, so yesterday, I told a few people, “Oh, I'm super excited! I get to interview Electric Six tomorrow!” And two people out of the five people I told were like, “Oh, is that Jack White's other band?” or something – why do people think that?

Dick: Oh, well he sang on “Danger! High Voltage”. I wouldn't say that it's his other band...I would say that I wouldn't be talking to you right now if it weren't for him. A) He was on our song and B) when they (The White Stripes) got big, it opened up a lot of doors for other acts in Detroit...sort of like Seattle in the 90s...so we sort of got, like, the second wave of White Stripes mania.

Joanna: So are you guys like good friends? Are you getting him a Christmas present?

Dick: Ummm, I'm not getting him a Christmas present. We were always acquaintances...and would see each other a bit when we were out...we were always friendly, but I wouldn't say “friends”...but he did me a real solid by singing on my song and not standing in the way of us putting it out.

Joanna: Yeah...that's very nice of him.

Dick: It was very nice of him. There was another band in Detroit that had a big problem crediting Jack White, and they ended up getting punched in the face by Jack White, so...

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: I never understood why that is so hard for people to admit that being in the right place, at the right time, and who you know is a big part of it.

Joanna: Right. Although, if he did punch you in the face...

Dick: He would do it tenderly.

Joanna: I think that if Jack White punched me in the face, I could defend myself.

Dick: He's a big guy.

Joanna: Is he really big?

Dick: He's big...he's pretty big and stocky.

Joanna: Oh, I guess they just slim him down in the videos...I guess I shouldn't talk about Jack White anymore – I should only talk about you.

Dick: No, I mean – you can talk about anything you want.

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: I think that your voice has a soothing tone...it just makes me want to nod and agree with everything.

Joanna: (Laughing) Cool! Well, tell me about you – what did you do today?

Dick: What did I do? I, ummm...I won $400 on a lottery ticket.

Joanna: No you didn't! Are you serious!?!

Dick: Yeah, so I won $400 and I cashed it in and I bought a bottle of wine and some groceries with some of the money, and I put the rest in a Christmas fund...I still have to buy some Christmas gifts (note to reader: this interview was done in December 2008) -

Joanna: So wait, you bought a bottle of wine and some groceries for yourself?

Dick: For me and my wife – I'm a married man. So when she gets home I'm gonna cook for her, and then I'm gonna pour the bottle of wine down my throat.

(Joanna laughs)

Joanna: What kind of wine is it?

Dick: It's French – nothing but the best, you know?

Joanna: Oh yeah...I really like French wines.

Dick: Yeah, it's a Bordeaux...it's a 2003 Bordeaux, so I'm really excited to shove it down my throat.

Joanna: Next week I'm going to Napa Valley and I'm gonna do nothing but drink wine.

Dick: Is that how you spend your Christmas?

Joanna: Well, I never have before, but that's how I am this year...this year is the year.

Dick: It sounds fun – I was a big fan of Sideways, the movie, and it really made me wanna -

Joanna: - it made you wanna get drunk!

Dick: It did.

Joanna: Yeah, me too. So did you grow up in Detroit?

Dick: Yeah...I went to high school in suburban Detroit and then after I graduated, I went to the University of Michigan, and I -

Joanna: You did!?!

Dick: Yeah.

Joanna: Oh! I almost went there.

Dick: What happened?

Joanna: Well...I wound up going to Rutgers instead...but my sister went there, my dad went there, my grandfather went there, all my aunts and uncles went there – my whole family went there.

Dick: Oh yeah – it's great. Debbie Gibson was supposed to go to U of M the same time as me, but she pulled out -

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: Apparently, Lucy Liu was there the same four years I was – but the weird thing is, nobody I know knows her.

Joanna: Maybe it was a lie that her PR person made up, so she seems more “girl nextdoor” or more educated or something...

Dick: Right, I mean, who knows why anyone does anything?

Joanna: Right – who knows...who knows. So how long has Electric Six been a band for? I'm skipping around...

Dick: Oh, that's fine. Well, we started as The Wildbunch in 1996 – we were a band called The Wildbunch, so we were a local band in Detroit for about five years...and then the whole – like I said – White Stripes thing happened, and everyone got record deals and we got a record deal in 2002, and we were told we had to change our name to something else besides The Wildbunch because there was already a Wild Bunch out there -

Joanna: Oh...I like Electric Six better...

Dick: Oh, see I don't -

Joanna: The Wildbunch makes it sound like you're a hair metal band.

Dick: Oh, I disagree. In any event, I'm an original member from The Wildbunch...but I wanted the band name to be Black Guy...

Joanna: Black Guy?

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: Yeah, well if "Gay Bar" was gonna be our only hit, I wanted people to be like, “Yeah, remember that one song, 'Gay Bar' by Black Guy?”

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: That would've been so great.

Joanna: Yeah...it would've been really controversial.

Dick: I don't think so...I don't think anything that is controversial is really controversial.

Joanna: No, that's true – but it's fun to pretend it is.

Dick: Yeah, it's fun. The media gets you all riled up.

Joanna: Yeah, definitely. Well...speaking of that...do you know what you're being interviewed for?

Dick: Yes, a website.

Joanna: Yes, a website...(scandalous-like) with pornographic content on it.

Dick: I don't care about any of that – it's fine.

Joanna: Do you enjoy pornographic content?

Dick: Depends on what you consider pornographic content...what do you consider pornographic content?

Joanna: I consider pornographic content a video where a guy is sticking his penis inside of a girl's vagina...OR a guy is sticking his penis inside of a guy's butthole...or – anything along those lines with penetration...penetration is the key to porn! Everything other than that is, like, erotica.

Dick: I get it – so what you're talking about is coitus – whether it's anal coitus or vaginal coitus -

Joanna: Somebody needs to be sticking something inside the other person's thing...

Dick: And the videotape has to be there -

Joanna: Yes...that's porn. When you're on video, you're losing your vulnerability...like when you're having an orgasm and it's in front of people...to show someone how you have sex, that is a line that you cross.

Dick: I completely understand. So yeah – I've seen that type of pornography, but I don't seek it out.

Joanna: Oh, so you don't like it?

Dick: No, it's not that I don't like it. Let me ask you this – do you like pork chops?

Joanna: Yeah, they're ok...

Dick: When's the last time you bought them?

Joanna: I bought them for my boyfriend -

Dick: When's the last time you bought them for yourself?

Joanna: I don't think I've ever bought them for myself.

Dick: You just said they're “ok”, right?

Joanna: Yeah.

Dick: Same thing with me with what you're talking about.

Joanna: Wow.

Dick: Understand where I'm coming from?

Joanna: Yeah, I understand where you're coming from.

Dick: I love, the real life stuff...– for instance, you tell a woman you want to buy her a soy latte, and you see the subtle changes in her retina, or a little thing she does with her face...the little changes that happen when I tell her “You're gonna get a medium soy latte” - you see how that effects her...maybe you sense that her heart rate goes up a little bit, maybe she starts to sweat – to me, that is the essence of where I'm coming from in this game that we all play.

Joanna: So there's foreplay – not even the foreplay...the foreplay to the foreplay is really what gets you going...

Dick: Oh, no, that's the climax right there.

Joanna: Oh, so that's the beginning and the end...?

Dick: Oh yeah, I blow my load just right there in my pants in public all the time. I'm really good at hiding it -

Joanna: (Laughing) So it's almost like porn takes it too far.

Dick: Yeah, I mean by the time we get to the porn, I blew it already.

Joanna: I could totally make a movie catering to that...it would be so cheap.

Dick: Yeah – you don't even have to hire the talent.

Joanna: Yeah...I could just go to Starbucks and film two people...and be like, “Hey, can I just film you two guys for a minute here?” Especially now around the holidays – lots of couples with their -

Dick: Yeah, their gingerbread pumpkin shit.

Joanna: Yeah!

Dick: Like I said, I like the way pupils dilate...I like to watch visible changes – subtle changes – in a woman's physical expression...and I like knowing that I caused it.

Joanna: Ohhh...so it's a little bit of an ego trip, and a little bit -

Dick: It's also very Sci Fi...

Joanna: Sci Fi!?! (Laughs) What's so Sci Fi about it?

Dick: Retinal work...didn't you see Blade Runner?

Joanna: (Still laughing) Yes...

Dick: Yeah, I thought Sean Young – I thought she was great in Blade Runner.

Joanna: Oh yeah, everybody thinks that. You see lots of girls on Halloween dressed up like Blade Runner. Maybe I could do a porno that's not a porno?

Dick: Yeah – maybe we could.

Joanna: We could go to the coffee shop and get our pupils dilated and stuff.

Dick: There we go!

Joanna: It'll be SO hot!

Dick: Yeah.

Joanna: So what are you working on now?

Dick: What am I working on now? I'm working on recovering from two months' worth of touring. Like I said, I'm buying lottery tickets -

Joanna: You're winning on the lottery – you must've had good luck!

Dick: I have pretty good luck. It's the third time this year that I've won the “4-out-of-5” -

Joanna: What!?! Are you serious!?! How often do you buy lottery tickets?

Dick: Not so often...(He delves into an expansive explanation of his lottery strategy with the cards and things like that...)

Joanna: Yeah, well it sounds very scientific for you – like there are some gamblers who are professionals and aren't allowed in Vegas casinos...you're like a professional lottery ticket buyer. You should be blacklisted at certain corner stores.

Dick: Yeah, but I haven't figured out quite yet how to work the lottery system. So do I consider myself lucky? Not really. Do I feel stupid for doing this? Yes, I do – but so far, it's worked out.

Joanna: Well, that's great.

Dick: Yeah, it's an homage to my grandmother...my grandmother was a big lottery junkie, so I have her blood coursing through my veins and I'm just trying to keep it alive.

(Joanna laughs)

Joanna: Do you think you'll ever win the really big one?

Dick: The big one? I don't know – who's to say. It's what keeps me going...it's what gets me out of the bed every morning...just knowing that I can...some day I will.

Joanna: Can you give me 10% if you do?

Dick: Ummm...sure. Sure, why not?

(Joanna giggles)

Dick: Um, cooking is another thing I like to do when I get off the road.

Joanna: Oh yeah, I try. I'm not very good, but I really do try.

Dick: Yeah, we just went to Spain and I just discovered this dish I love called Pisto...it's a scrambled egg and sauce mixture, and so I'm trying to make that tonight -

Joanna: Yummm...sounds good. With the bottle of wine!

Dick: Yeah, should be good – you like romance.

Joanna: I do like romance -

Dick: As well as penetration -

Joanna: I like it all. And I like the wine! Wine always leads me to lots of penetration.

Dick: I noticed you called me from the 818...that is the home of penetration!

Joanna: (Laughing) It is the home of penetration! Where penetration was invented.

Dick: It's the "Mecca of penetration".

Joanna: I don't think people would know how to do it if the 818 area didn't exist.

Dick: If it wasn't for the San Fernando Valley...whenever I'm engaged in penetration, I always point towards the Valley.

Joanna: Well, for all the people out there that might only know the songs, “Gay Bar” and “Danger”, are there any other Electric Six songs you'd recommend? Cause people don't buy albums anymore – we buy songs. The economy is bad.

Dick: Well, yeah – we have our new album, FLASHY...

Joanna: Oh yeah – ok! What's your song with the video with the cartoon?

Dick: Cartoon?

Joanna: Yeah – it was really funny.

Dick: Oh, that's “Showtime” - that's a good song. We did a video for our new single called FORMULA 409 where we're kidnapped by wizards – you can check that out.

Joanna: Well, I really respect that you guys have, like, good music that you make funny. Cause with a lot of music these days, bands get very sad and very serious, and I think it's cool that you guys make things light-hearted and funny, and enjoyable!

Dick: Yeah, my parents got divorced and I've had friends commit suicide, but I don't think anyone needs or wants to hear that in a musical composition. I never really understood people who wanted to work their problems out through musical recordings – either on the recording end or the receiving end...I never understood that. I think rock music should be uplifting and you should write about robots and....ummm, well, you should mainly write about robots and you should use the robots as a metaphor for anything. I like mechanical analogies.

Joanna: Have you ever been to a gay bar?

Dick: Um, that's a very very controversial question.

Joanna: (Laughing) Have you ever taken anyone to a gay bar?

Dick: I took my wife to a gay bar when we were in New Orleans. And I'll tell you this much – I've been to several gay bars in my life, and I've had more homoerotic energy directed my way at Sports bars and frat parties than I've had at a gay bar.

Joanna: Huh, then you feel left out when you go to the gay bar? No, I totally understand.

Dick: It's blatant, repressed stuff in those other bars. But gay bars are great – I stand by them; will continue to go to them.

Joanna: Well, just like anything – there are good gay bars and then there are bad gay bars.

Dick: No, there are NO bad gay bars!

(Joanna laughs)

Joanna: So what do you want to say to the people who took a break from watching pornography to read this interview? Is there anything you'd like to say to all those people – who are reading a band interview on a website with penetration?

Dick: You said they're taking a break?

Joanna: Well, it could be before or after the pornography...but also during...who knows? Sometimes people have a few monitors – they could have one on one side and one on another side – I mean, so many things could be going on right now.

Dick: Well, it's like getting Playboy for the articles...it's the same thing these days. You can put interviews and Q-and-A in the same venue as the pornography. I think that's great! No matter what you're doing, or how great your desires are, or what your needs are – you will always have the need to learn about other people...to understand why people are the way they are. That's what makes us human – we don't 100% give into our animal instincts...we're always looking to learn, and we can do that while we're penetrating.

(Joanna laughs)

Dick: You can penetrate a butthole, but you can also penetrate your mind.

Joanna: Now that is something to think about!

Dick: You can penetrate your stomach with food...you can penetrate your ear with a que tip...you can penetrate your bunghole with anything you want...and you can penetrate your mind with your interviews.

Joanna: That's true...I'm with you, Sir.

Dick: Thank you!

Joanna: Anything else you want to add? Anything you want to say? Any place on the Internet you want people to go to? Any last words, before I leave you in the dust?

Dick: Yeah, I don't know...I try not to plug too many things on my way out of the interview...I don't want to influence anyone's life...I just want people to buy my music!

Joanna: I think they will – your music sells itself...it's pretty catchy.

Dick: Thank you so much.

Joanna: It's pretty good. Everybody should check out your “Gay Bar” video cause it's silly. All of your videos are good actually.

Dick: Yes, and I really like your voice – I think you have a bright future ahead of you.

(Joanna laughs)

Joanna: Well, I'm actually an 80-year-old man, so...but thanks!

(They both laugh)

Dick: Well, thanks for doing this...I guess I'll see you next time we play in LA.

Joanna: And instead of sending you porno – I'll just go down to Starbucks and film two people falling in love for you.

Dick: That would be good.

Joanna: So thank you and have a good holiday.

Dick: You too!

Joanna: B-bye.