Well hot damn! This is a pleasant surprise. This is fantastic music. Joanna, leave that penis alone for a minute and create a rating higher than 5 for these guys. It’s like someone stuck The Pixies, The Stones, Bowie and Elvis Costello in a Nazi Gas Chamber and these dudes inhaled their aura. Fuck. This is my new favorite band. And they’re from Iowa? I thought the only good thing to come out of Iowa was potatoes. Wait, no, that's Idaho. Ok, so it's just these guys.**

Ever freeze a solid potato? And then throw it at someone’s head? It’s like a fucking brick. There’s a few male bitch princesses on this site that need a frozen potato to the head. Are you really coming to me for a record review? I’m no fucking authority. And secondly, are you coming to BurningAngel for a record review? Then you might be half a fag (and not the good kind).

THIS IS A PORN SITE. I’ve never typed in the URL "Burningangel.com" without already having my cock out and ready to look at hot chicks. I’ve never once grabbed my Kleenex or dirty sock, put on some Slayer, grabbed lube, unzipped my pants, pulled my boxer briefs to the floor, grabbed my dick and said, “God! I hope Burning Angel has some good record reviews today!”

These reviews are supposed to be your cigarette after sex. A cool down after some naughtiness. You want insightful record reviews? Go to Rolling Stone or wherever music nerds toss off. Me, I’m here for the tattooed sluts. We can talk about music at the bar.

**[Editor's Note: After this was published, a violent email exchange began between CHRIS and the poster, JOJO, regarding this sentence over Iowa, Idaho and the alleged potatoes. Below is the account of this exchange:

CHRIS: how come you added this line "Wait, no, that's Idaho. Ok, so it's just these guys." to the review. its way funnier with out it. of course potatoes dont come from iowa. thats the joke. youre ruining the joke, hot lips.

JOJO: Sorry - I didn't think you were joking; it sounded like you just mixed up Iowa and Idaho...everyone here thought that's what happened and said to change it. I don't think people would know it was a joke...I think they'd just think you screwed up. - Jojo

CHRIS: and thats why i win! dissinformation. can you delete it. i like it the more retarded way. its kind of my thing. -c

JOJO: I can take out the "Then it's just these guys" or whatever, but I am gonna leave "Oh wait, that's Idaho"...it's not like the joke of the review, and I don't think anyone will read it and think it's funny...they'll just think it's wrong information. I don't want to put wrong factual information on the site...it makes us look dumb. Like we didn't catch Idaho. - Jojo

CHRIS: then can you put brackets around YOUR statement and YOUR NAME like [Wait, no, that's Idaho. Ok, so it's just these guys.—Jojo] like an editor's note. because i dont like people putting words in my mouth or changing my jokes. chris

JOJO: The review is really funny in-and-of itself...it's just gonna look like an unnecessary mistake.

CHRIS: EXACTLY! THAT IS MY THING. i fucking tell people i dont lik eChinese food because my dad was KILLED IN PEARL HARBOR. there are TWO HUGE innaccuracies in that statement. that is what makes it funny. leave the funny to me. i'll leave the tits to you. chris]