Joanna: Ok, so let's do this!

Brendon: Let's do it! Rock n' roll. Where are you calling from – LA?

Joanna: Yeah, I'm calling from LA.

Brendon: What publication is this for?

Joanna: Oh, well it's funny that you asked that. This is for a website called BurningAngel. I don't know if you've heard of BurningAngel, but BurningAngel is an adult website.

Brendon: [in a sexy voice] Oh, well hello...

Joanna: [Laughs] You are now officially on a dirty website! Well...not yet.

Brendon: I've been on a lot of dirty websites...as a viewer...not a participant.

Joanna: Well, that's good. You could be the -

Brendon: - hold on, let me take my pants off.

Joanna: [Laughing] WHAT!?! I don't have any pants on either, so you may as well just take them off -

Brendon: - hey listen, this guy who was supposed to call me about something awhile ago is calling now. Can you call back in, like, 25 minutes?

Joanna: Oh, yeah – sure. I'll call back.

Brendon: Ok, cool. [They both hang up and await another conversation with no pants on...eventually, Joanna calls back and Brendon picks up]

Brendon: Hello.

Joanna: Hey, is this Brendon?

Brendon: This is Brendon.

Joanna: Hey, it's Joanna...can you talk for a little now?

Brendon: Joanna!

Joanna: Yeah!

Brendon: Hi.

Joanna: Hi. Are you ready?

Brendon: Yes.

Joanna: Are your pants still off?

Brendon: Uh, yeah – they're off.

Joanna: [Laughs] So, where are you now?

Brendon: We just pulled up to Lawrence, Kansas. And, uh, it's in America, apparently.

Joanna: Yeah – it is in America. Are you doing anything for Father's Day?

Brendon: Shit, I gotta call my dad.

Joanna: Yeah, you gotta call your dad.

Brendon: Umm, no – I'm not doing anything. I'm not a father, but I have a dog, and my dad is watching him, so that's really nice.

Joanna: Yeah – that is really nice.

Brendon: So, I'll have my dad put the dog on the phone so I can talk to him for awhile.

Joanna: [Laughs] Um, cool. So you have no issue with the fact that you're being interviewed for a website with dirty movies on it?

Brendon: Um, no – I don't think I do.

Joanna: Does it make you happy?

Brendon: Well, I haven't seen the movies, so I'll get back to you on that. If naked ladies with gigantic fake tits are reading this, then that's one thing, but if it's a bunch of fatso dudes jacking off to this interview, then that's a different story.

Joanna: Well, they might...but um, we don't use girls with fake boobs on the website, but maybe it'll be a little of both. Maybe it'll be, like, a combination of hot girls and dudes.

Brendon: If girls just can't keep their pants on reading this interview, then well – that's gotta be my fantasy. That would turn me on. Not a bunch of fat rednecks jerking off.

Joanna: Well, whatever. Everybody's gotta jerk off – even fat rednecks.

Brendon: I know, but don't do it on my time.

Joanna: [Laughs] So, did you – was Dethklok a band first, or did the cartoon come first...or did the idea for the cartoon come first?

Brendon: I had done a different show with adults called Home Movies, which is pretty much the polar opposite of Metalocalypse -

Joanna: Oh, so you already had an in?

Brendon: Yeah. I went to music school in Boston – Berklee College of Music - and I graduated from there, not really knowing what I was going to do, and I ended up getting into comedy – standup – and -

Joanna: Oh, ok – was that tough? I always thought being a stand-up comic was hard.

Brendon: Um, yeah – it can be. It can be humiliating. But, you get over it and as you keep doing it, you gain more confidence and find out what's funny about yourself. But I did it because I wanted to, and it made sense to me at the time. So, when I was doing standup, some animation producers asked me if I wanted to do some voice-overs on their show: “We're putting together a show”...and I was like, “Fuck that – I want to create the show; I don't want just do voices!” so -

Joanna: [Laughs] You don't like being told what to do? Are you a control freak?

Brendon: Yes. Unless it's something really good that they're telling me to do.

Joanna: [Laughs] I understand.

Brendon: But, no – I don't like being told what to do.

Joanna: Ok, so you had a different show?

Brendon: Yeah – had a show called Home Movies...I did the music for that, wrote it and did voices, and uh, it never really found its audience until after it got canceled - [There is someone beeping into the phone line]

Brendon: Hold on – that's another interview calling in...let me tell them to call back -

Joanna: Yeah – fuck them! [There's a pause while Brendon tells the other caller to fuck off]

Brendon: Hello?

Joanna: Hi.

Brendon: Sorry about that.

Joanna: Are they gone?

Brendon: Yeah – now I'm all – totally available to talk about myself.

Joanna: [Laughs] Ok, awesome.

Brendon: So, I did that show – I wrote the music and all that stuff -

Joanna: - so you just wrote the music? Did you write the music or did you write everything?

Brendon: I wrote the scripts, the music – everything.

Joanna: Oh, ok.

Brendon: And, uh, Adult Swim was like, “Hey, whenever you have an idea, the door's open – some to us.” And then at the time, I was spending a lot of time on metal. I'd spend all my time talking about guitars and going to live shows, so, I was like, “This is the show!” And I pitched them and they were like, “Yeah – that's great, let's do it!” and I said, “Cool,” and then they were like, “Ok, write it up”, and then I was like, “Ok, well I'm going to write the theme song and that'll help me understand more what the show's going to be about”, so I wrote the theme song in, like, a day and -

Joanna: - but Dethklok wasn't a band yet?

Brendon: No no, it wasn't a band. I came up with the band and the show and all that with my buddy, Tommy, all at the same time. But the band part of it was – that's what helped us start the show.

Joanna: So when you go on tour, who goes with you?

Brendon: I have a whole band of super-talented, crazy musicians that come with me. So, from the show, I did a record with this really amazing drummer by the name of Gene Hoglan – he's played in tons of metal bands. And so he played with me on the record and it was just me and him. It did really well and it was really cool. So he plays with me live. And then this other guitartist, Mike Keneally, and this bass player – Bryan Beller – who went to the music school with me, and they're just amazing. And I sing and play guitar.

Joanna: Which character on the show do you most identify with?

Brendon: I don't think you want to identify with these characters so much...

Joanna: [Laughs] Well, I'm sure in some way you have to...

Brendon: Well, I think that you pick one of the characters and say, “Well, ok, this story's more about them, or whatever. And, ummm, I can't say that I really identified with any of them, to be honest. I really don't.

Joanna: If I was going to take one of them on a date, who do you think I should take on the date?

Brendon: Umm, I don't know – what do you look like?

Joanna: Well, I'm short and I have black and pink hair...I mean, do you think that if I went on a date with Nathan Explosion, he'd get mad at me for doing porn, or no?

Brendon: Nathan's kind of weird...I think Nathan is always trying to date out of his class. He's always trying to get, like, these rich girls.

Joanna: I could see him getting really angry at me.

Brendon: Underneath all that exterior, he's a real sweetheart.

Joanna: [Laughing] I don't think he'd be able to handle it!

Brendon: I think he could be very sensitive at times – just has a hard time showing it.

Joanna: Yeah.

Brendon: Umm, Skwisgaar is a guy who uh – he's just sick of hot chicks at this point. He's fucked so many gorgeous women, he's just looking for weirdos. Someone he hasn't had before.

Joanna: Is life on the road similar to life on the show?

Brendon: Yeah – I wish! [Joanna laughs]

Brendon: No, I don't think so. I don't think anything on the show is reflective of anything in my life. Cause for me -

Joanna: It's a fantasy?

Brendon: Well, I don't know – it's a pretty dark one if it is that! It's, uh – I go to work, and I work really hard, and I stay up late, and I go home and I write music, and I just keep doing that. For three solid years with no break, and then I go to a recording studio and keep working on that, and it's just been nonstop work. You know who I identify with on their show?

Joanna: Who?

Brendon: The managers!

Joanna: I knew you were going to say that. So you identify with the manager?

Brendon: I'd have to say, yeah. He keeps shit together, and this stuff could spin out of control whenever, and you just gotta manhandle it. So yeah – that's who I identify with. For the first time ever, I realized it now.

Joanna: [Laughing] I can't believe I helped you realize this.

Brendon: You really did!

Joanna: I'm like a therapist.

Brendon: Yeah, I know – how can I ever repay you?

Joanna: I should probably give you a banana sticker for that.

Brendon: I could give you a banana sticker for that!

Joanna: Well, no – you realized this about yourself -

Brendon: Oh, oh – I had a breakthrough so I get a banana sticker?

Joanna: Yes!

Brendon: Oh, ok – you're right, you're right!

Joanna: So are you allowed to give any clues as to what's going to happen in the future of Dethklok? Are any of them going to have, like, a girlfriend that's going to break up the band.

Brendon: We have an episode that's gonna cover that stuff, so yeah – we've got some episodes that's gonna cover all that ground. It's gonna pick up basically where Nathan's last girlfriend left off.

Joanna: So what do I have to do to get on the show?

Brendon: Ummm, what do you have to do? What are you willing to do?

Joanna: [Laughs] I don't know! I think I'd make a really good addition for one episode. And then I can die.

Brendon: And then you can die? [Laughs] You should start working on the music side of things...No, actually, there was a girl at the show the other night, and she was holding a poster that said something like “I will have sex” or “I'll give a blowjob” or something like that “...to get onto the show”, and then I met her after the show, in front of the bus, and she was a very straight-laced girl, very serious girl, with glasses and short hair and she started talking: [Brendon does a 'proper' voice] “Well, yes, I really enjoyed the show”, and so I said, “Hey – thanks for coming. Thanks for supporting us.” And then she was like, “Yes, and I really enjoyed such-and-such episode,” and then it got time to leaving and she was like, “And, if you'd like to collect on this offer, I am available on Myspace...” -

Joanna: Just very matter-of-fact? That's kind of sexy...

Brendon: I didn't think it was the sexiest way to be propositioned...

Joanna: Really?

Brendon: The presentation was just -

Joanna: Well, you probably made her nervous.

Brendon: Maybe, maybe. But she seemed very “in charge” - “[in an operator's voice] Well, I very much enjoyed the show, and if you'd like to collect on this BLOWJOB, please do contact me...” - That's a sexy way to ask...I'd be like, “[Brendon puts on a robot voice] I would like to have sex with Robot...Robot sex.” [Joanna is hysterical with laughter]

Joanna: I guess I'll just have to earn my way in.

Brendon: Yeah – well we'll see. We haven't really come up with any ideas so far.

Joanna: People just assume that since you do porn, you'll just put out for anything. But since I do have sex on camera, I consider myself somewhat of a professional, and I guess I don't just want to abuse it like that.

Brendon: I know, I know. I know – hey listen, it's a job. You don't want to give it away for free.

Joanna: Maybe I will just start writing letters to Nathan Explosion every day and maybe some day he will write me back. I'll include little pictures of myself.

Brendon: There you go – now you're talkin'!

Joanna: [Laughs] And I will inspire him. So, um, do you know how many more seasons you get to do?

Brendon: Well, you know the way TV works, it's like a big, fat temp job, where you're on for as long as you're on for, and then one minute you're out of a job. But for us, we're getting good ratings, the network really likes us, making a lot of people a lot of money – the CD's getting extremely high ratings -

Joanna: Is it really? That's awesome. Do you think if the show went off the air, you'd continue to be a band?

Brendon: Well, that's the whole thing – I was just trying to correct any problem I had with my last show. Shows are expensive, and putting out a record is not half as much as putting out a TV episode, so if I could get this show to only exist in audio form as well, then if I was forced into TV cancellation, then I think I could do that – could keep going with the band.

Joanna: Well, if everything else fails, you could always do porn!

Brendon: [Pause] Yeah! Shit...maybe I will!

Joanna: [Laughing at his sarcastic response] You could keep my number, and if nothing else works out, as a last resort – you know -

Brendon: You'll see if I can get it up on camera? Have the power to cum on cue? All that stuff?

Joanna: Yeah!

Brendon: Ok, when's the audition?

Joanna: I don't know – maybe the next time you guys come to California...backstage... [Silence]

Joanna: Are you still there? [Silence] Did you die? [Silence] I think you died... [Click...Tone...Dialing...Ringing...]

Brendon: Hello?

Joanna: Did you die?

Brendon: I thought you had died and I was calling the police.

Joanna: [Laughing] You didn't have to be so scared...you don't have to do porn if you don't want to!

Brendon: No, I was excited about my audition. I was getting ready...

Joanna: You had already quit the band and left?

Brendon: Yeah – I was getting ready for my big porn debut.

Joanna: Well, I'm not going anywhere – you can give me a call when you're ready. In any case, what are you working on now?

Brendon: Well, I'm working on the show during the daytime – animatics, conference calls, soundcheck, interviews, etc. Umm, I'm just going through the whole day -

Joanna: [Laughing] What did you have for breakfast?

Brendon: Umm, I had one of those Hollywood breakfast bar things.

Joanna: You should have some yogurt.

Brendon: Umm, ok. Give it to me.

Joanna: [Laughing] Ok.

Brendon: Arrange it for me please.

Joanna: [Laughing] Ok, I'm going to arrange it for you. Are you there when people animate the show? Do you have any control over that?

Brendon: Yeah – we're all there in the production studio. It's all done in Hollywood. We can do everything there. It's all done in one place – it's a pretty cool place to work at.

Joanna: Well, is there anything else that you might want to say to all the people masturbating out there?

Brendon: Pace yourself. Take your time. And in the words of Woody Allen: “Don't knock masturbation: it's sex with someone I love.”

Joanna: That's good advice!