It sounds like you are doing something really wrong in there. I mean, you’re not supposed to stick your entire face in there. I have no problem breathing when I’m eating pusy - what the hell are you doing dude? Are you trying to go back to the womb? Are you trying to crawl inside her body? Use your tongue and your mouth - your nose doesn’t have to be part of this. The reason why there isn’t such a thing as a pussy snorkel is because it’s really not necessary. Just calm down, seriously. I know vaginas are cool and everything but, really; learn how to control yourself!

Hey Joanna, one of my coworkers and I have been getting together for the past four months or so and have a great time. She had been engaged with her boyfriend whom she had been with for seven years before she called it off last October. When she and I get together, we have a great time. She says that she has more fun with me than she ever did with him. But she is very hesitant to call it a "relationship." She has no fear of showing affection for me in public, i.e. kissing, holding hands etc. I know she can confide in me, because we'll spend many nights lying in bed talking about many things, but whenever the thought of it becoming a relationship comes up, she quickly changes the subject. I truly care for her, but would it be in my best interest to end it, and cut my losses. Or is there a chance she may come around and want to be with me as much as I want to be with her?

Well this is sort of a tricky situation. I understand where you’re coming from; I also understand where she is coming from. When two people are in a relationship, they spend time together, they hold hands, they have sex, they go out to eat (etc.). It seems that’s what you guys are doing…I mean, whether she wants to admit it or not, you guys are in a relationship...that’s all it really is! Nothing will really change once it’s official. People with relationship fears tend to think that once those titles are there, everything will go bad…but that’s probably because they had been with people they weren’t compatible with in the past. Since you guys are intimate, I think it’s OK to ask her to be honest about who else she has been with in the time that you guys have been un-dating. If she admits that there are three other you’s in her life - like she is holding hands and sharing laughs and kissing a few people in public - well then, it’s obvious that she’s not in the same place you are and you should probably stop talking to her. However, if she is in fact just sleeping with you, and maybe had a few other drunken one night stands other than you in the past few months...well, just stick around. She’ll have to give in and admit she is your girlfriend one of these days.

Love the site, and keep up the good fuckin' work with the hot naked ladies. Anyway, the misses and I wanna have a threesome, but neither of us has ever had one. We're both fairly intelligent people, so we could probably figure out how to swing one on our own. That being said, do you have any tips?

Threesomes can either be amazing, or terrible - they never really fall anywhere in between. I think the most important thing is to find someone both of you want to have sex with, who wants to have sex with both of you...who neither of you would ever want to be in a relationship with - like ever - even if she was the last person on earth. She should have the same intentions with both of you. Does that make any sense? You need to find someone you both want to fuck - who wants to fuck the two of you - with no other emotional bullshit aside from that. A threesome, particularly when a couple is involved, can get really ugly when someone has alterior motives. Nothing sucks more than being the girlfriend in the threesome and feeling insecure - like "OH MY GOD THIS BITCH WANTS TO STEAL MY BOYFRIEND" – and it would equally suck if you started to think that your girlfriend was a lesbian and didn’t want your penis anymore. Be sure to make lots of eye contact with your girlfriend when you’re fucking the other girl...you don’t want her to feel like you’re totally lost inside this other new vagina and you never want to come back. Keep your mental connection with your partner, and develop a physical one with the other. And since you are a guy, and guys will pretty much have sex with anything, do yourself a favor and let her pick the girl…trust me - things will work out better that way! Everyone needs to really want everyone to have fun. There can’t be any like "Oh you fucked her more than you fucked me" types of conversations going on. Maybe to warm up to it, you guys should watch some porn together, because that is sort of kind of like having another girl around. Or maybe you can try it with a blowup doll…and I’m not really saying that because I think it will actually do anything…I just think blow-up dolls are awesome. If you do have a threesome with a blow-up doll, then please send me a picture.