Har Mar Superstar

JOANNA: Hey there

HAR MAR: It�s too bad we�re doing this over the phone. I really wanted to make out with you.

JOANNA: Ahh� so it really is you who�s sending me messages on Myspace.

HAR MAR: Yeah. I�m a really good kisser.

JOANNA: Hmm� How are your oral skills?

HAR MAR: They�re ok.

JOANNA: Just OK?

HAR MAR: Well, they�re pretty good actually.

JOANNA: When I was in dire need of finding some male talent, Syd told me you�d want to be in one of our pornos. Is this true? Would you really do this?

HAR MAR: I don�t know if I�m ready for that. It would be a good move to piss people off though.

JOANNA: You don�t seem like the type who makes music to piss people off. Every time I watch your new video, I get really happy.

HAR MAR: Yeah I�m just in this to have fun.

JOANNA: Can you speak up? I can�t hear you all that well.

HAR MAR: Sorry, I�m totally mumbling.

JOANNA: I know� dude, don�t be nervous.

HAR MAR: No, I�m not nervous, I�m just really laid back.

JOANNA: By laid back, you mean stoned?

HAR MAR: (laughs) Well, yeah I guess.

JOANNA: (laughs) Good for you. Damn it, I want to go to LA and get stoned and sit by a swimming pool. It�s so cold and shitty here in New York.

HAR MAR: Dude, come out here, I�ll show you my Unicorn collection.

JOANNA: You have a unicorn collection?

HAR MAR: Yeah. I�ve got a kickass unicorn collection. I�ve got my little ponies, turbo unicorns, talking unicorns, big ones, small ones�. I�ve got hundreds. Chicks love it.

JOANNA: I bet it�s a good way to lure them into your lair.

HAR MAR: Yeah, I�m just like, hey, waanna see my unicorn collection? And of course, they�re gonna say yes, and then that�s when I make my move.

JOANNA: (laughs) That�s hot. I�d definitely fall for that.

HAR MAR: Yeah. Woooohooo!

JOANNA: So why do you perform more in Europe more than you do here?

HAR MAR: People are just more hardcore about shit there.

JOANNA: So us puny Americans can�t handle you?

HAR MAR: I don�t know. Maybe. I mean, the bands I go on tour with love me. I went on tour with Incubus, and like, the guys in the band loved me, but their fans hated me, particularly in the south.

JOANNA: Why is that you think?

HAR MAR: Who fuckin knows. They�re probably jealous because I get laid more than they do.

JOANNA: (laughs) You don�t think that�s an overstatement? You really think you get laid more than the average Incubus fan does?

HAR MAR: Of course.

JOANNA: Do you get laid more than the average Joe off the street?

HAR MAR: Yeah. Definitely.

JOANNA: What�s your secret?

HAR MAR: I�m just confidant and girls love that. When I wanna make out with someone, I just tell them I wanna make out with them, and it never fails.

JOANNA: Have you always been this smooth?

HAR MAR: Oh yeah. I went to this art high-school and I made out with just about every girl in the whole school.

JOANNA: Even the teachers?

HAR MAR: Nah- but I�m sure I could if I tried. I could definitely romance a teacher.

JOANNA: Do you make out with girls while you�re on tour?

HAR MAR: I try to make out with every girl in the front row of every one of my shows.

JOANNA: During the set?!

HAR MAR: Yeah, usually while I�m playing. If I�m not too wiped out I�ll ask some of them to come backstage with me.

JOANNA: I usually ask people I interview if they watch porno, but you don�t really have to. You�re entire life is like a porno.

HAR MAR: (laughs) Yeah totally. I can�t help it. I�m a little beast prone towards sex. It just happens.

JOANNA: So do you watch porn at all? I just have to ask that. It�s my staple question.

HAR MAR: I like that 70�s shit where the girls are all natural.

JOANNA: Do you like BurningAngel? There�s a shit load of beautiful natural girls on there.

HAR MAR: Yeah, it�s actually the only porn site I�ve ever subscribed to.

JOANNA: Awww, I�m flattered.

HAR MAR: Yeah. Can you come to LA so we can make out?

JOANNA: I�ve always fantasized about doing it to someone in a room full of unicorns.

HAR MAR: So get down here.

JOANNA: do you think you could write some porno music for BurningAngel? We always need some good sex music for the background of our videos.

HAR MAR: I could totally lay down a groove to make out to. Just let me know when.

JOANNA: Sweet. Do you ever make out to your own music?

HAR MAR: No way, that dude is just not the dude you want to hang out with.

JOANNA: (laughs) You�re right. I�m glad you realize that. Do you encourage others to get down to your music?

HAR MAR: The new record is more of a party record, but there are certainly some slow jams people can make love to.

JOANNA: Well that�s about it. Thanks for the interview. This was really entertaining.

HAR MAR: Yeah, I better go. I gotta look at a house I�m thinking of buying.

JOANNA: Good god, a house? You�re like a real person! How scary!

HAR MAR: Yeah, it�s great. I make money doing what I love.

JOANNA: That�s awesome. Well, we love you too. So it makes everyone happy.

HAR MAR: (laughs) Thanks.