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Har Mar Superstar
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JOANNA: Hey there
HAR MAR: It�s too bad we�re doing this over the phone. I really wanted to make out with you.
JOANNA: Ahh� so it really is you who�s sending me messages on Myspace.
HAR MAR: Yeah. I�m a really good kisser.
JOANNA: Hmm� How are your oral skills?
HAR MAR: They�re ok.
JOANNA: Just OK?
HAR MAR: Well, they�re pretty good actually.
JOANNA: When I was in dire need of finding some male talent, Syd told me you�d want to be in one of our pornos. Is this true? Would you really do this?
HAR MAR: I don�t know if I�m ready for that. It would be a good move to piss people off though.
JOANNA: You don�t seem like the type who makes music to piss people off. Every time I watch your new video, I get really happy.
HAR MAR: Yeah I�m just in this to have fun.
JOANNA: Can you speak up? I can�t hear you all that well.
HAR MAR: Sorry, I�m totally mumbling.
JOANNA: I know� dude, don�t be nervous.
HAR MAR: No, I�m not nervous, I�m just really laid back.
JOANNA: By laid back, you mean stoned?
HAR MAR: (laughs) Well, yeah I guess.
JOANNA: (laughs) Good for you. Damn it, I want to go to LA and get stoned and sit by a swimming pool. It�s so cold and shitty here in New York.
HAR MAR: Dude, come out here, I�ll show you my Unicorn collection.
JOANNA: You have a unicorn collection?
HAR MAR: Yeah. I�ve got a kickass unicorn collection. I�ve got my little ponies, turbo unicorns, talking unicorns, big ones, small ones�. I�ve got hundreds. Chicks love it.
JOANNA: I bet it�s a good way to lure them into your lair.
HAR MAR: Yeah, I�m just like, hey, waanna see my unicorn collection? And of course, they�re gonna say yes, and then that�s when I make my move.
JOANNA: (laughs) That�s hot. I�d definitely fall for that.
HAR MAR: Yeah. Woooohooo!
JOANNA: So why do you perform more in Europe more than you do here?
HAR MAR: People are just more hardcore about shit there.
JOANNA: So us puny Americans can�t handle you?
HAR MAR: I don�t know. Maybe. I mean, the bands I go on tour with love me. I went on tour with Incubus, and like, the guys in the band loved me, but their fans hated me, particularly in the south.
JOANNA: Why is that you think?
HAR MAR: Who fuckin knows. They�re probably jealous because I get laid more than they do.
JOANNA: (laughs) You don�t think that�s an overstatement? You really think you get laid more than the average Incubus fan does?
HAR MAR: Of course.
JOANNA: Do you get laid more than the average Joe off the street?
HAR MAR: Yeah. Definitely.
JOANNA: What�s your secret?
HAR MAR: I�m just confidant and girls love that. When I wanna make out with someone, I just tell them I wanna make out with them, and it never fails.
JOANNA: Have you always been this smooth?
HAR MAR: Oh yeah. I went to this art high-school and I made out with just about every girl in the whole school.
JOANNA: Even the teachers?
HAR MAR: Nah- but I�m sure I could if I tried. I could definitely romance a teacher.
JOANNA: Do you make out with girls while you�re on tour?
HAR MAR: I try to make out with every girl in the front row of every one of my shows.
JOANNA: During the set?!
HAR MAR: Yeah, usually while I�m playing. If I�m not too wiped out I�ll ask some of them to come backstage with me.
JOANNA: I usually ask people I interview if they watch porno, but you don�t really have to. You�re entire life is like a porno.
HAR MAR: (laughs) Yeah totally. I can�t help it. I�m a little beast prone towards sex. It just happens.
JOANNA: So do you watch porn at all? I just have to ask that. It�s my staple question.
HAR MAR: I like that 70�s shit where the girls are all natural.
JOANNA: Do you like BurningAngel? There�s a shit load of beautiful natural girls on there.
HAR MAR: Yeah, it�s actually the only porn site I�ve ever subscribed to.
JOANNA: Awww, I�m flattered.
HAR MAR: Yeah. Can you come to LA so we can make out?
JOANNA: I�ve always fantasized about doing it to someone in a room full of unicorns.
HAR MAR: So get down here.
JOANNA: do you think you could write some porno music for BurningAngel? We always need some good sex music for the background of our videos.
HAR MAR: I could totally lay down a groove to make out to. Just let me know when.
JOANNA: Sweet. Do you ever make out to your own music?
HAR MAR: No way, that dude is just not the dude you want to hang out with.
JOANNA: (laughs) You�re right. I�m glad you realize that. Do you encourage others to get down to your music?
HAR MAR: The new record is more of a party record, but there are certainly some slow jams people can make love to.
JOANNA: Well that�s about it. Thanks for the interview. This was really entertaining.
HAR MAR: Yeah, I better go. I gotta look at a house I�m thinking of buying.
JOANNA: Good god, a house? You�re like a real person! How scary!
HAR MAR: Yeah, it�s great. I make money doing what I love.
JOANNA: That�s awesome. Well, we love you too. So it makes everyone happy.
HAR MAR: (laughs) Thanks.
written by: Joanna posted by: Alex Chechs
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