Joanna: Hey there. I know you�ve had a shit-load of interviews to do today, so I�ll make this quick and painless.

Gary: No! Make this as painful as possible. Hurt me baby!

Joanna: (laughs) Tell everyone what your name is, and what you do in The Libertines.

Gary: My name is Gary Powell, and I am the overall fascist dictator of the Libertines.

Joanna: (laughs) Cool. So you guys have been around for about 5 years at this point?

Gary: Yes, just about.

Joanna: How in such a short amount of time have you managed to piss so many people off? People keep trying to sue you and ban your record and all this other stuff, and I don�t really understand it. It�s not like you�re a website with pornography on it or anything like that.

Gary: Well, it's not me personally. I don't do anything wrong.

Joanna: So you're the good boy in the band?

Gary: Yes. If you met me in person you would know that. I'm extremely sweet and innocent.

Joanna: (laughs)

Gary: Stop laughing you woman you, I'm a very nice boy and you better believe it.

Joanna: So who are the bad boys in the band?

Gary: I don't know. Peter has a pension for throwing television sets out of windows. Some people fancy that as rock n� roll but I don't really see it that way.

Joanna: I really like my TV. I'd be very upset if he came along and threw it out my window. Fortunately, my TV is about 10 times the size of my window so I don't think he'd succeed.

Gary: If you would try to throw my TV out my window, there would be a whole other story about us in the press tomorrow. It would be something like
�journalist found dead after smashing drummer�s television set.�

Joanna: This is a fun interview. You Brits have good senses of humor. In any case, did playing right across from Buckingham Palace the day of the Queen's Jubilee make all the authorities in England hate you?

Gary: To be honest I think there�s a lot of fabrication in the press. I mean, my band is a bunch of retards, and we�ve always been a bunch of retards, the only difference is that now people want to write about the retarded things we do because we're some rock n' roll band. It's really no big deal to us.

Joanna: Why was your record banned from the radio?

Gary: I reckon they were angry at the derogatory language and such.

Joanna: You would think we've evolved enough as human beings to have the intelligence to stop banning things over �derogatory language.�

Gary: Yeah, it�s beyond me. This is a weird world.

Joanna: Can you talk a bit about why your guitarist left? It says in the press that you guys kicked him out because of his excessive drug use.

Gary: Well he willingly decided to leave the band and go off and do his own thing.

Joanna: I mean, no offense, the rest of you don't exactly seem that clean� like how much drugs would one have to do to get kicked out of the band?

Gary: Well, let's just say he was doing way more than he should have been. We were all working quite hard mixing the album and he just wasn�t showing up to do any of it. He also started his own project called the 'babyshambles,' and when we started having meetings about up and coming tours and such he wasn't even showing up. People had been telling us he'd been using the money he'd made at babyshambles shows to buy drugs directly afterwards, and things were getting out of hand. We had a final meeting to decide what to do and he didn�t show up or call, and it turned out he was playing a babyshambles show to get money for more drugs so at that point we were like 'you know what, if you're not going to sort yourself out, forget it, all you think about is yourself.' So that was the end of it. He was just being selfish.

Joanna: So it was more the lack of loyalty than the drugs?

Gary: Yes. I mean before we started this band we were friends, and that's what banded us together: our friendship and our love of music. When that love wasn't there anymore there was no point for him to be in the band. What bonded us together at first was our friendship and our love for this band and he just wasn�t showing that anymore.

Joanna: So how many Internet porn sites have you been interviewed for today?

Gary: (laughs) Well none, why?

Joanna: You're being interviewed for one right now.

Gary: Oh really? Cool.

Joanna: So do you ever watch pornography?

Gary: Well, we're on the road so much and I don't really have much time. I split up with my girlfriend a year ago and'(he then mimics a violin sound, to the tune of something you�d hear at a funeral)

Joanna: Hello?

Gary: Sorry about that.

Joanna: Is everything OK?

Gary: No, it's very sad.

Joanna:: Would that make you want to watch more pornography?

Gary: These days I can't watch pornography. I am too sad. I don't want to watch anyone else getting it, I want to get it! Give it to meeee! I want it all! You don't want to watch someone else eat chocolate cake! You want to eat
the chocolate cake!

Joanna: And you can't find any chocolate cake on the road?

Gary: Well, I'm sure there is but we just don�t have the time.

Joanna: You seem to be really busy' which is good. You haven't even been a band for that long� how did your full-time touring schedule happen so quickly?

Gary: After we got signed we played our first show with The Strokes and
everything kinda happened after that.

Joanna: You get compared to them a lot don�t you?

Gary: Yes, I believe it's because we all wear leather jackets. People see two bands with long hair wearing leather jackets and they're like, �Oh my god it�s
the same band! What do we do?�

Joanna: Did you guys ever fight them?

Gary: (laughs) The Strokes? No.

Joanna: Who do you think would win if you guys fought?

Gary: I think if I fought the rest of my band and the Strokes all put
together, I reckon I would win.

Joanna: OK well, I think I've gotten enough out of you.

Gary: No! I want to talk more about pornography!

Joanna: Well you told me you don't have enough time and you are too depressed to watch it, so I don�t really know what else to ask.

Gary: Well, I remember when I was younger a friend of mine and I went to do laundry. To make the chore more exciting my friend brought along some magazines from his dad's Playboy collection and we sat there looking at them, thinking we were the only people in there. I look up, and I see an old woman at one of the washers behind me. She looked at me like �yuck� and I looked down and saw a huge boner sticking out of my shorts.

Joanna: Well that was a good story, but Playboy isn't porn.

Gary: Oh I know.

Joanna: You're going to have to tell me another one if you want to continue to talk about porn.

Gary: I'm stuck in a van all the time with a bunch of sweaty guys. It doesn't make me want to watch pornography.

Joanna: Do you have a favorite porn star?

Gary: Um� well, Jenna Jameson?

Joanna: That doesn't count. She's everyone's favorite porn star.

Gary: OH! I'm just telling you what I know.

Joanna: It's OK, Gary, there's nothing wrong with reading Playboy and watching Jenna Jameson porn.

Gary: I'll watch more pornography so next time I'll have more to say.

Joanna: It's OK. I think this was a pretty good interview. I had fun.

Gary: OK, thank you.

Joanna: Have a good day.