Chummy: Ok, state your name and what you do in GUTG.

Wes: I'm Wes and I sing.

Chummy: How long has GUTG been a band for?

Wes: A bunch of years. Listen, I don�t want to do this interview.

Chummy: Why not!?!?

Wes: I don�t know, we just got done playing. I'm fucking hot.

Chummy: That�s not a problem, I don�t mind.

Wes: Plus I think I�m just going to give you really boring answers, and it'll be a shitty interview.

Chummy: That's OK, we'll just make up fake answers for you when we transcribe this. We do it all the time.

Wes: Do you guys really do that?

Chummy: Uhhh...

Wes: Listen, let me get my drummer for you. He's got some crazy stories about him and his wife. It'll make the interview better.

Chummy: OK.

(Wes comes back 5 minutes later with Alex, GUTG's drummer, and I restart the interview)

Chummy: OK, so state your names and what you do in GUTG.

Wes: I'm Wes and I sing.

Alex: I'm Alex and I play drums.

Chummy: Who are the other members?

Alex: They don�t matter.

Chummy: (laughs) OK. How long have you been in the band for?

Alex: I guess about 8 months now.

Chummy: How long has GUTG been a band for?

Wes: About 4 years now.

Chummy: Even though you've been asked this question like a million times, you wanna say a little something about the name change?

Wes: Yeah sure, I'll give you a brief summary. Basically about a year ago we got a cease and desist letter from another band called "American Nightmare" so we had to change our name. We wanted to keep the initials AN so we changed our name to "American Nothing" but that just didn�t fly too well. The name of our new full length was going to be called "Give Up the Ghost" and cause of a lack of any other ideas, we just decided to use that name.

Chummy: Why did you go with "Give Up The Ghost" and not "Casper the Friendly Ghost?�

Wes: (silence) I don�t know� that�s a fucking stupid question, and you totally rehearsed that.

Chummy: Yeah, I did. Sorry. OK. So Alex, you�re married?

Alex: Yeah, my wife does our merch.

Chummy: Have you and your wife ever had sex in front of the band?

Alex: Umm no I don�t think so, but everyone in the band has either seen and/or touched her boobs.

Chummy: Are you and your wife like swingers?

Alex: We don�t really consider ourselves to be "swingers" but we
like to have fun.

Chummy: Has she ever brought another girl into the bedroom?

Alex: Well, yeah she has, but it�s never really planned out. It�s more like we'll go out, and we'll just end up with another girl in the bedroom. It�s never really premeditated.

Chummy: Where do you find these girls? Did you ever find one
at a hardcore show or anything?

Alex: Actually, I got a good story. We were playing a show in Denmark, and spotted this really hot girl. Supposedly she was like the hottest girl in the whole town. I spoke with her briefly throughout the night, and after the show her and her friends took us to this bar down the block. There was a cover charge at the door, but the girl got us into this place for free, and told people that we were a band from America, so like everyone was buying us drinks and shit. So we were just kinda chillin� there and I noticed that the girl and my wife Sarah disappeared somewhere. They came back about a half hour later, holding hands and stuff. The two of �em sat down next to me and started making out and stuff, so I was like "whoa." So of course I got in on it, and started like making out with the girl, and with my wife, and we were just like all touching each other at the same time. Then, this girl�s uncle appears out of nowhere! He tapped her on the shoulder, pulled her away and whispered something in her ear. She came back and was like "he said I should leave, and that I'm too drunk." So we were like whatever, do what you gotta do, but she still ended up staying with us for a few more hours. Later on we left the bar and went to the hostel we were staying at. We wandered around the hostel for a while, and found this open back room with a bed. At this point it was like 5am, and we were all on this bed and my wife starts making out with her, and her shirt came off, and she had really awesome boobs. Then I put my hand down her pants�

Chummy: (interrupts) And she had a penis!?

Alex: (laughs) No, she didn�t have a penis.

Chummy: Oh OK�go on then.

Alex: Yeah, OK� so uhh, we took her pants off, and she�s like completely shaved. So she was on the bed completely naked, and just out of nowhere, it just all fell apart.

Chummy: What?!? Why? What happened?

Alex: She just kinda stopped it� like she threw on her clothes and was
like "I have to get going, I have to go to work in like an hour,� and left.
(GUTG guitarist Tim walks in the room)

Tim: Are you telling him about the girl from Denmark?

Alex: Yeah.

Chummy: So how old was this hot Denmark girl?

Alex: I think she was pretty young, like 16.

Chummy: Dude. That�s disgusting.

Wes: No she was definitely older than that, she was like 18. The first time we went to Denmark maybe she was 17, but then when we went back she was 18.

Alex: I don�t know I'm fucking 29, everyone looks like they�re 16 to me.

Wes: (laughing) She wasn�t 16 dude! This interview is gonna be evidence when you get arrested.

Chummy: So, tell me about a time when you and your wife found
another girl, and it didn�t just stop once things started to get good.

Alex: Well, I mean there have been plenty of times that�s happened, but like I said, we really don�t claim to be real "swingers" ya know? Although when we lived in California we'd somehow end up in these weird orgy scenarios.

Chummy: Really?

Alex: Yeah.

Chummy: Like with how many other people, like 10 or more?

Alex: Nahh� not that many, but sometimes with like 6 to 8 different people.

Chummy: Jesus.

Wes: Yo, tell him the LA story.

Alex: OK. So we were with my friend John at some house party, and there were these two girls there, who I guess were about 19 years old. You know, like just college aged girls. Anyway, in the car on the way to the party, we had all gotten in a discussion about what was technically considered cheating or not. I'm not sure how we got on this topic, but a comment was made by my wife saying something like "If he cums on a girl's face, but she doesn�t actually touch him or anything, then that�s not cheating." By this time my friend John was already really drunk, and really pysched on the idea of making that actually happen.

So we got to the party, and he wouldn�t stop talking about it like "yeah, your gonna cum on some girls face tonight" being all really loud and drunk, and one of these girls heard him saying this, and smiled and said "I have a face.� So the party got kinda lame at that point, and there weren�t that many people there. The remaining few of us wound up playing truth or dare. After playing that for a while, everyone was just making out, and not really daring anything cool. So it gets to my turn, and I spin the bottle and it lands on the "I have a face" girl, I asked truth or dare, and she said �dare.� So I just blurted out "I dare you to let me cum on your face" and without any hesitation at all she was like "OK!"

So, I'm just like, should we do this right here in the living room? And she was like, uh, yeah sure. I tried to jerk off in front of a room full of people, and I couldn�t get it up. So my wife suggested that we go into the bathroom with this girl and try it there. So we went in there, and my wife started blowing me while this girl watched, then they both started making out, and I just watched them make out while jerking off. They both took their shirts off, and I have like one hand on my dick, and the other hand is just touching all 4 boobs, and I was like "OK, I'm gonna cum, you girls ready?" and then the girl with this huge smile just gets on her knees and leans into it, and took it like a champ. I got it all over her face and stuff.

Chummy: Did you get it in her eyes?

Alex: Not like in her eyes, but I got it like across the top of one of her eyes.

Chummy: Yeah, that�s a classic facial.

Alex: (laughing) Yeah. She didn�t even wipe it off right away either, she ran around the party showing everyone that she completed her dare.

Chummy: Yo, would you let me shoot a sex scene with you and your wife, and put it on Burning Angel?

Alex: Umm� well, you�d have to ask her, but I'd be down for it. I�m pretty much willing to try anything at least once.

Chummy: Cool. So, uhh back to some band questions. You guys cancelled your summer tour right?

Wes: Yeah, we're just gonna chill until our new record comes in out late August then start touring again.

Chummy: What could people expect from the new record?

Wes: (laughs) Don�t even pretend that you're interested in that, you just wanted to get the sex stories.

Chummy: Well, do you guys have any stories that could compare to Alex's?

Tim: We have a pretty good story from last week in LA.

Chummy: OK, cool� what is it?

Wes: Well, we were out in LA and we went to this party at our friend�s
house, who lives in a pretty nice neighborhood. Actually, Ice-T is his neighbor. So we were pretty drunk at this party, and then we see this girl walk in, and our friends were like "yo, that girl was here a few weeks ago and let me put this paper towel rack up her ass." A few hours later after everyone was a little wasted, she started like taking her shirt off, to show everyone that she had implants, and then she started telling people that she wanted people to put stuff up her ass... about five minutes later there�s a crowd of like 20 people gathered around her with objects to put up her ass. My girlfriend and Tim were there just grabbing whatever they could to put in her ass. The girl actually made me finish the beer I was drinking so I could put it up there.

Chummy: What did you put up there?

Tim: I started out with the paper towel rack that our friend had used
before, and then I used a power drill.

Chummy: You put a power drill up her ass?!?

Tim: Yeah, well it was the handle of a power drill.

Chummy: How far up did these things get up her ass?

Wes: It went pretty fucking far up there, like pretty deep. I was actually surprised at how far the towel rack thing got up there cause that thing was like fucking long.

Chummy: Jesus. That�s fucking crazy.

Wes: Yeah, that was a weird night.

Chummy: OK, I think I'm gonna end the interview. Is there anything you want to close with?

Wes: Nah.

Tim: Nah.

Alex: Nope.

Chummy: Alright then. Thanks for the interview guys.