Chummy: What are your names and what do you do in Poison the Well?

Ryan: I'm Ryan and I play guitar.

Jeff: I'm Jeff and I play bass.

Chummy: Where are you guys from?

Jeff: Everyone in the band is from Florida, except me. I'm from Las Vegas.

Chummy: How long have you been a band for?

Ryan: We've been a band for about 6 years, but we've had a bunch of lineup changes. We've had this particular lineup for about 2 years now.

Chummy: How many lineup changes have you had?

Ryan: We've had 8 bass players, 4 guitar players, 2 drummers, and 3 singers.

Chummy: How many original members are in the band?

Ryan: Just me and our drummer Chris, but even we left the band at one point and then returned a few months later.

Chummy: Why have you guys had so many member changes? Are you some kind of a dick that no one could get along with?

Ryan: Nah, it�s not that. We really didn�t start losing people until we began touring full-time. Some people just aren�t cut out for that kind of life. They go crazy and become miserable.

Chummy: Word. So what did you do for a living before you started touring full-time?

Ryan: Well, I went to college but I actually used to work at a peep show/porn store in Miami.

Chummy: Really? Were you a jizz mopper?

Ryan: Nah, I wasn�t the jizz mopper. I used to work behind the counter during the late night shift. The jizz mopper only worked the daytime shift, and he actually got paid 5 dollars an hour more than I did.

Chummy: Well considering the work he had to do, don�t you think he's entitled to an extra five fucking bucks an hour?!?

Ryan: Yeah, I guess.

Chummy: So wait, you worked at night and the jizz mopper only worked during the day?

Ryan: Yeah.

Chummy: So if a dude went into a jerk booth, his jizz would just stay on the floor until the morning when the jizz mopper came in?

Ryan: Yeah.

Chummy: That�s fucking gross.

Ryan: I know dude this place was definitely disgusting. If you came in there you'd never want to go into another adult shop again.

Chummy: I highly doubt that.

Ryan: Well it would definitely gross most people out. The area it was in was really ghetto. There was a ton of prostitution outside the store, especially at night when I worked. Most of the people who came into the place were gay guys, cause the booths had glory holes in them. Even though the place was surrounded by scumminess, it was actually a pretty fun job. A ton of weird shit would happen there.

Chummy: Like what?

Ryan: Well, this one time some guy came in and started flipping through the bargain video bin. He started talking to me and was like "so what�s your name" and I said "Ryan,� and then he pulled a video out of the bin titled "Shaving Ryan�s Privates." He just started looking at me, then looking at the video, and kinda winking at me, and stuff. I thought it was really fucking funny so I was like "Awesome!!" I started talking to him, asking him his name and stuff, but that kinda weirded him out so he just left.

Chummy: (laughs) That�s great.

Ryan: Every night I worked there would always be at least one guy that came in there, who'd walk around, looking at straight-laced mainstream porn videos for about two hours. You know, like an all-girl video, or the Vivid videos, and then he'd come up to the counter with some fucked up video, like "Barnyard Action" or something. I'd just be like dude, you don�t have to walk around for two hours cause you're embarrassed to get this. Just get in get what you want and get out, it�s not a big deal.

Chummy: The store carried weird videos like that?

Ryan: Yeah. I'd look at some of the boxes and think to myself "ya know, no one really needs to see this,� especially like those weird German pornos. I'm not saying that anyone has a right to tell these people that they're not allowed to put out whatever videos they want, I am 100% against any form of censorship. Personally, I�m just not into any of it, and I can�t understand how anyone could be. Some of the titles to these videos were really funny though.

Chummy: What were some of them?

Ryan: There was this one that I'd always joke about, maybe you're familiar with it. Have you ever seen "Bust a Nut in Grandma's Butt."

Chummy: (silence) No, I haven�t heard of it, but I think I'm gonna use the quote "have you ever seen Bust a Nut in Grandma's Butt?" as your quote on the home page.

Ryan: (laughs) Oh man, do you have to?

Chummy: Yes, yes I do.

Ryan: Ahh� OK fine.

Chummy: Do you guys go to a lot of strip clubs on tour?

Jeff: Nah, not too many, we usually don�t have the cash.

Ryan: Yea, and even if we did we'd probably spend it on really geeky things like gadgets and records and shit. We did go the Clubhouse in Dallas, that�s Vinnie Paul and Daryl from Pantera's strip club. That place was awesome.

Chummy: Do the girls strip to metal bands there?

Ryan: Yeah, It was fucking awesome. When I walked in I saw this girl stripping to Slayer. It was seriously the fucking raddest thing I've ever seen. I been to a few strip clubs in Northern Florida, too, those were pretty sleazy.

Chummy: Sleazy in a good way?

Ryan: Nah, not really. This one time my friend and I were driving up to Gainesville and we stopped at this trucker cafe/strip club to eat cause we thought it'd be funny. We walked in and the entertainment was this one 50-something year old woman vacuuming the stage naked.

Chummy: (laughs) Did you tip her?

Ryan: Yeah, I did. I respect a girl who could strip because it takes a lot of guts. I couldn�t do it. I could barely get naked in front of one person let alone a room full of people.

Chummy: Word. Well, thanks for the interview guys, is there anything you want to close with?

Jeff: Nah, thanks for the interview.

Ryan: Yeah, thanks man.