Tori Lux

I would like to see more blogs from you. It sounds as if your mind races in a manner similar to mine, and others like us. In a 5 second period I will assess how I feel at the moment by a sort of free-association thought process, which can start with events of the day at hand, go to a memory from far childhood, and end with a glimpse at what may have been different if I had chosen otherwise. All of the thoughts are connected, but at first glance from a 3rd party persepective they would appear random and irrational. A lot of times we have logical emotions that are based on illogical thought processes. A friend of mine that is a fellow writer, and also a psychiatrist, told me that once. I know personally that some of my anger and self-doubt stem from just such things. One thing that has helped me to make clarity out of my obsessive thinking is by recognizing the mode from which it stems. By which standards do we measure the value of life, and how does that reflect what is inside of us, outside of us, and because of our presence here. Hitherto, I have had trouble with sifting through which of my thoughts, and subsequently my emotions, are born of a justifiable and rational motive. What has helped me come to peace, in a manner of speaking, is gauging where I am today, and asking myself if I'm doing the things in the moment that will leave me where I want to be tomorrow. I know that in our own minds our experience and perspective is unique, but trusting a balance between our instincts and the input of others' experiences is the key to answering some of the questions that run rampant through our minds. Sometimes I think that human conscience was evolved so that life could bear witness to itself. If this is true, than the quality of our self-implicated judgements can never be fully understood, and therefore fully trusted.

I know how you feel ladylove, this is a hard time in life (age-wise, economy-wise, etc) you've got a good head on your shoulders though. And you know I'm here for you. Someday soon we'll have that sleepover and give each other makeovers and play with barbies or something ;-) xoxoxo

LAWL XD

Dnothing, you have a strange man masturbating on your couch too!?

I'm having the same problem :

Keep bouncing thoughts off friends and etc. It means the difference insight and paycheck, versus pills and a bed check.

Hey girl dont take it to heart I wasnt telling ya what to do with your life. Dont take it that way, sorry if I sounded that way though. But seriously you'll be alright :]

Yes, I'm aware that porn isn't the only option for work in life. I have no intention of depending solely on porn for income, or fulfillment of life through work, or otherwise. I wasn't looking for advice, just mentally decongesting myself.

Haha the last sentence... priceless. ^^ But yeah hun, know exactly what you mean, its hard to know what your goals are in life. But best just to think about the future not the distant future. And yeah porn is good, but you also need to think about real work too. But yeah either this fools right or talking more useless bullshit haha. In anyways, good luck! ^^