I've probably said this before. She is definitely my best, best friend. I love her more then anyone on this planet, hands down. She is just so so special to me. She understands me on a level that no one else does. She is legitimately one of the best mothers in the world. And not just because she's my mom and I love her so much. Through out my whole life she has really done her best to teach me how to live in the world, how to think for myself, and has encouraged me to pursue absolutely anything that I became passionate about, even if it was something that totally contradicted her core values.
She has learned to not blame herself for my own shortcomings, nor take credit for my achievements like so many parents do.
She is always there for me, even if she is tired, insanely busy, etc. etc.
I'm so scared of her dying, I have no idea what I'm going to do. It's been plaguing my mind lately, just thinking about the fact that I will have to deal with her death eventually. I don't think I will ever be prepared, or ever feel like I spent enough time with her, even though I know that I have to pursue my own life and I cannot join her at hip.
Not to say that growing up we were this close. She still loved me intensely and unconditionally, but she has also suffered from chronic depression that at times affected her ability to parent me and be there for me, but I know she always really did her absolute best.
I just found this card she gave me before I left for my second trip to Montreal. On the front it has a "lamp fairy" (a cutout of a fairy with wire and beads to hang on a lamp) that says, "Each thing she learned became part of herself, to be used over and over in NEW ADVENTURES" - Kate Sered.
On the inside reads,
"Amy, my love... have a wonder "full", magical adventure. I love you so, so, so much! <3 Know that and be happy.. be blissful... be YOU! <3 As that is how I will have you in my mind and in my heart... every single day.
Always, Always,
Mom "
I'm so fortunate to have such an amazing woman not only in my life, but as my mother.
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