Jeeze. What happened to this year? I don’t even remember what I did. I would like it back! I’m getting too god damned old and it’s happening very fast, and as time progresses… the craziest part of all of this is that I am not getting any better than guitar hero. Seriously! Like I got guitar hero this summer and the first time I played it I was really bad… and I thought I would get better at it. Alas… I did not. And here I am 6 months later… 6 months closer to being 30 and just as bad at guitar hero as I was on the first day. I thought you were supposed to get wiser as you got older… what the shit is going on?

Everything in my life happens so quickly sometimes and it is relatively exciting. I wish I could take you all along so you could watch it, and then when things get crazy and I don’t have time to write about things you would just like, know what is going on. I meant to catch you guys up a few days ago but then I got a cold. It’s almost gone but not really. Some people think that people in porn get all these STD’s … I did a scene about 2 weeks ago with 5 other guys in it. YIKES! Yeah it was a lot… but a lot of fun. I’m glad I did it. I don’t think I will do it again though… ah you never know maybe I will do it again. I am going to hold on to it though. I don’t think I will put it out for another few years… I am gonna keep you on your toes. It is a good reason to continue being my fan… knowing that if you stick around for long enough… and you ask nicely, one day… you will get to see me somehow manage to insert 5 penises inside my body at the same time. But yeah… in any case… I did not get any STD’s after this Joanna Gang-Bang… however, I did catch a really bad cold. I don’t know which bastard gave it to me but I sure was not happy about it. I’ve gone through so many tissues-I’ve taken so many vitamins- and various types of cold medicines, and the bottom of my nose is all red now. The moral of the story is that before you do a gang-bang… in addition to getting an STD test and making sure all the other participants have a recent STD test - also take some ecinacia (i am sure that is not spelled correctly) and maybe vitamin C, and I dont know. Something that you can get at whole-foods that comes in drop form. Don’t do what I did and just go in it all raw- you wind up with a bad cold! Maybe when I retire from the 10 jobs I have, I will invent “gang-bang serum” for people to take before they have sex with multiple people at the same time, to assure they won’t have a cold.

URMMMMMM

Yeah, so we had so many shoots to do this past month- some contained myself in them, some contained the BurningAngel girl Jessie Lee in them. Do you guys know her? She just recently had a video go up on BurningAngel and it’s pretty awesome. I think she is better at having sex than I am, and I give her props for it. When I have sex these days (which off camera has been very sparse due to my lack of time grrrr) I think like “what would Jessie Lee do right now? She would do something amazing… I should do something amazing! But no matter what I do- It won’t be as cool as anything Jessie did!”. Blaaaaaaah- in any case she came out here and shot a bunch of scenes and I shot a bunch of scenes with myself in them. I’d been having a hard time finding places to shoot in Los Angeles because everywhere that people shoot porn here is dumb. I’m sorry if you are reading this and you shoot porn or own one of those places that people shoot porn in or like, really like those places that people shoot porn in- but like, they are all so fucking hideous. I think I have complained about this before. People out here who fany themselves as “alt pornists” claim that all the cool places to shoot are in downtown LA- but I have even searched beyond the valley and ventured into that downtown area and I think the stuff there is also pretty ugly- not to mention I had to sit in 2 hours of traffic to get there and my car almost got stolen about 4 times during the course of a 4 hour shoot. I am sure not all places are like that but everything I found was. The places in the Valley like, I don’t fucking get it at all. They really look like an old rich lady’s house. The sea-foam greeen colored walls (the other colors are just as ugly as seafoam green I just don’t know what they are called), the tacky furniture with tassles all over them for no reasons… the paintings that make the stuff from Target look museam-worthy. I don’t get it. I don’t know why people who own porn houses have to have so much money and have such bad taste. I know it’s a matter of opinion. Maybe I am just bitter because I can’t shoot in my stupid house. Ahhh I sound so angry!

Anyways this month was magical. I have a friend out here who does something that is a lot more financially rewarding but not quite as interesting as directing sort of alternative porn movies… and that is “flipping real estate.” Do you know what that is? You probably do. It’s when people buy houses that are kinda run down and shit and they wait a few months, re-build them then sell them. Yeeeeeah son! So when I complained to this friend about the dilema I had finding places to shoot (even though I am pretty sure when he rebuilds his house it will look just as ridiculous and tassle-filled as the people I complained about before but don’t tell him I said that. He is very excited about the renovations) and he agreed to let me rent his place out for a month for a price that was so low it was pretty much un-fair and he said I could do whatever the hell I wanted to the house because he was just gonna tear it down in a few months anyways. He told me this on Dec 1st… the first shoot I had planned was Dec 4th. I think. It seems so long ago at this point I don’t even remember it anymore.

So of course, I said yes. There was nothing in the house- so thankfully, the powers of myspace bulletins helped me reach out to some amazing people who agreed to come and paint walls and do graffitti and build sets. It was awesome! The house in the end was my shooting place come true and it was also lots of fun. A friend made me some stencils of like, skulls and nautical stars and knives and shit and I spray painted them all over the bathroom. Another friend painted a big deamon on this one wall and he painted some weird cool boxes all over the kitchen and some other ginormous skulls in other places. I dunno I guess I should probably show you photos but I barely found the energy to write this blog entry… attaching photos would be a whole other level of productivity I just don’t know if I can handle at the moment. My favorite set was the alley way… my new myspace friend and his friend turned a room into an alley way and it looked pretty fucking awesome and gross and scummy and cool. That was where I did my gang-bang and got my cold.

I had a lot of fun when Jessie was here. We got pretty drunk and made fun of all the other people in LA. Particularly one girl we met… who I will not name… but she was so fake, it was awesome. It was as if I purposely transplanted her here for Jessie to meet on her vacation so she could really feel like she went to LA. We went to a party with her, and we were having some minor issues getting in (yes, that does happen to Joanna Angel sometimes) and she knew someone at the door- and just went right on in… and it was pretty damn cold outside. She didn’t even wink or look back. She was just like, oh ok… I’m gonna go to this party without you. I know I had just met her about an hour earlier but that was some rude party etiquette. About 10 minutes later I got in and she smiled and waved and said “I tried to get you guys in but I couldn’t… I’m so glad you made it!” Jessie wanted to punch her in the face, because that’s the New York way of handling things. But I told Jessie to smile and laugh and give her a hug and say “yeah! i’m glad i’m in too! now we can hang out!!” because that’s just what you do in LA. She did it and then we laughed about it on the way home and for the next few days too. Sometimes doing the “LA” is even more ballsy than doing the “New York” in that sense. I like it when the BurningAngel girls come out here to shoot. I don’t have that many female friends out here and it’s nice to have someone to get drunk with and fuck my boyfriend with and make fun of the retards out here with.

We shot a lto of stuff this month… most months aren’t like that. We always do that at the end of the year. I wish we could shoot that much all the time… it made me feel like BurningAngel was like, a real company with as much money as all the other companies have who shoot all the time. Unfortunately this is not the case. Hopefully one day!

The only problem with the location this month was that the internet access was really slow so I couldn’t blog much. I am going to move in February to a place the cops won’t come to and paint the place up and shit so I can always have somewhere to shoot and it won’t be in downtown LA, it will be in the Valley where my car doesn’t get stolen and the traffic isn’t so bad. Maybe my house can beat up the other porn houses. Or maybe it can just smile and laugh at them and talk shit about them behind their backs like a true house in LA should do.

Well, happy birthday to me. I keep trying to lie about my age and tell everyone I am 25, but it makes me feel weird. I will wait till I’m 30 to start lying about my age. I mean whatever… I am 27- I’m fucking 27. AHHHHHHHHH. I’m old. And whatever… if that makes you lose your hard-on well then, I don’t know what to tell you.

Have a merry merry christmas everyone.

xoxo

Joanna Angel

***PS I got a new computer which is a MAC and it is awesome, but I don’t really know how to use it so well… so I haven’t figured out how to implement the spell check on my blog. So I am apologizing for all the spelling and grammatical errors up here. I will figure it out sometime soon.