so i just found out that i’m going on LA Ink tomorrow.

weird.

uh… what should I get?! I think I know what I will get. Man I am kinda nervous. I guess I shouldn’t be… I am really just getting a tattoo. I’m doing a shoot at night though! AHHHHHHHH someone come help me organize my life. I am like a rockstar- get tattooed during the day, get DP’d at night. Yeah. Crazyness.

life has been all crazy lately. OK I am saying crazy way too much. I have been shooting a lot- for myself obviously. I am doing lots of dirty things- you know, DP’s and anal scenes and what not. I’ll have to admit I really like being DP’d but the guys have to know what they are doing. Not everyone knows how to do it. I don’t know how to really explain the "right way". I’m going to save them and just release them slowly. I’m trying to just stock up on as much content as I can because you know… I am getting old and worried that I might look like dog food next year. OK, maybe not dog food but like something else that you might not want to see naked. I know, everyone says I am crazy but I think it’s ok to shoot like a whole bunch of stuff now and then just chill for a while.

 You know, it really sucks. It has been hard for me to find places to shoot in Los Angeles. I feel like every location I find kinda looks like my great aunt’s place in Long Island. I’m serious! All the cheesy colors, all the stupid furniture, all the dumb swimming pools and ugly ass paintings on the walls. I went to the Haloween store to get a bunch of crap I can hang up and try to make the cheesy places look a little less cheesy. I thought about shooting all these scenes in New York but there are no penises there. So it’s a lot- I need to like, worry about the set design.. the makeup artist, the penises, and coming up with some kind of weird set-up that takes 2 minutes and leads to sex. Sometimes there isn’t a makeup artist, but they are really good at making me feel pretty. I don’t know what they do. Tomorrow I am doing my own make-up because there is just no time to get my makeup done in between getting tattooed on TV. I will just throw some shit on- maybe if they do my makeup on LA Ink I will just keep whatever I have on. AHHHHHHHHHHHH I don’t know. And what will the set up be? Maybe I will do some like "oh baby come put lotion on my tattoo" yeah. Will that work? I am shooting in my friends studio- he directs for one of the gonzo companies and his studio is hideous. I just couldn’t really find anything else. I’m gonna have to put up some posters and do something creative. All with a big fresh tattoo on my side…. yeah. You think my life is so glamorous! It isn’t! Hahahahaha… but I wouldn’t trade it in for a second.

The bottom line is, the last DP I didn’t wasn’t so good and it was a long time ago. The one I did the other day was awesome. I think every girl needs a good DP in their life sometime before they die. I am serious. I also think it solves relationship problems. I can’t really explain why.

You must think I am on crack from the nature of my writing- but I am not. I am just a little all over the place.

xoxox