you know, i still have stories to tell you about my shoot- good and bad, funny and sexy… but bad things keep coming up. it’s starting to get a little cold in Los Angeles and all my jackets and sweatshirts are in New York. I’m going to be getting one more year older in December, and I’m worried you all will stop loving me. I mean, I might have to turn my site into a MILF site sometime soon. Not because I am planning on having a kid anytime soon… but because this year I will be turning one year younger than 10 years older than the legal age to apply for BurningAngel. Yeah. CREEPY.

So I don’t know if you want to know this at all but there is a girl I have two videos with on this site… her name is Haley Paige… and yeah- she died a few weeks ago. Not only did we do it for your viewing pleasure, but she was also a good friend of mine. Her boyfriend- Chico- was also a good friend as well and he was just found dead today. They both sort of disappeared a few months ago, and I thought they wanted to get away and find a happy place somewhere in the world (Los Angeles isn’t exactly heaven) but something happen that drove them both to death shortly after they disappeared. I have a few speculations as to what they were but I have no proof for any of them so I don’t want to say anything. There are two logical causes for when someone dies at a young age- it’s either suicide or murder… neither are pleasant to think about. To make it even more strange, I live in a house that they used to live in together. I actually sleep in what used to be their room and sometimes their mail still comes here. I didn’t hear about it from any friends or family members or anything- their dead bodies were found, 10 days later they were identified… and within hours it was on the net- and this is how I found out about it. Weird.

Chico was a director, I was in a few of his movies. The most disgusting raunchy scene I’d ever done (Lewd Conduct 27) was for him, and he was the only director I really trusted to perform such a smutty scene for. My 25 minute anal pounding combined with slapping, choking, spitting, smacking and puking was really done out of friendship and trust and maybe to satisfy some demented perversions inside myself. Afterwards Chico bought me pizza and me and him and a few other people played fuse ball all night. His bathroom - which is now my bathroom was always dirty. He attempted to clean it for me out of respect and appreciation for my rough scene but I told him it didn’t matter. I dunno. His porn was very opposite mine but I respected him… he was so creative and funny and he really had a lot to do with why Big Boobs are Cool is as silly as it is. We pretty much copied his obnoxious but endearing interview style. I dunno… he was a friend… he helped me out, on occasion shot camera for me … and now I’m living in what was his house. I don’t really understand what happened. Haley was so sweet and funny… she liked country music and had really nice boobs. She would come over with Chico and he and my boyfriend would do boy things and me and her would do girl things… you know… like look at pictures of celebrities and decide which ones had the best hair… sometimes we could complain about our stomachs and do ab exorcises together and we sometimes traded books. Ehhhh I don’t know I feel like I am starting to sound like a Hallmark commercial. I don’t really know how to properly express how awkward this is and how I wish this didn’t happen without sounding cheesy.

but tomorrow I swear, i will have funny sexy silly stories to tell- that aren’t about cheating and aren’t about death.

xoxo

Joanna Angel