I wanted to write this extensive blog entry about my week in New York, but I still haven’t had the time. Don’t worry I didn’t forget everything. Tomorrow morning I have to go and get my Vagina molded. I don’t know why I capitalized vagina. I felt like it was necessary for some odd reason.

Ummmm, yeah.

So there will be little Joanna Angel vaginas (or Vaginas) sold in stores everywhere by this time next year. Tomorrow morning is when the mold will be made so my Vagina (or vagina) can be replicated. I’m so sensitive down there. I really hope the molding paste doesn’t give me a yeast infection. If it does I am going to kick the dildo making factory’s ass.

I had so much fun in New York. Yesterday I walked around LA (ok so LA is too big to walk around, so I was really just walking around a parking lot) and thinking about how ugly it was. It was so hot out, and I couldn’t get my hair to look good. I felt gross. I needed more deodorant. I didn’t even have a good reason to be in the parking lot I walked around, it was simply, the only place I could walk to from my house.

But today I got over it. Maybe because I went to see Die Hard-est- what was it called? Hold on lemme go ask someone what it was really called … OK- it was "Live Free or Die Hard" and I honestly hate action movies but this one was pretty fucking good. The scene with the fighter plane at the end was a bit excessive. If you saw the movie you should know what I was talking about. I bet the editor wanted to take it out and the director was like "we spent a gazillion dollars on that scene! we can’t take it out!" and the editor was sitting there going "but it’s stupid dude!" and then the director yelled at him and fired him and hired a new editor. I don’t know why I just invented the whole drama in my head between two people I don’t know. It was fun.

New York. OK- what happened there. Lets give everyone a quick summary.

1. Spent time in my office - did a whole lot of boring shit that will eventually lead to cool exciting shit that will happen to BA in the near future. I hung out with employees- got drunk after work, but with employees so it was sort of like I was still working.

2. Went to New Jersey for World Video signing. That was pretty awesome. I was there with Bellavendetta, Morgan, and January. Morgan got very drunk and spoke about nothing except her pink pen. I got very drunk and walked around barefoot in a gas station- I am pretty sure something seeped into my body and my foot will fall off any day now. January wrote everyone love notes, and Bella well… she is way too tough to do anything stupid. After I got back to my apartment Morgan had some very drunk sex on my couch. I have filmed four guys insert their penises into one girl on camera yet I get shy and silly when 2 people are having sex near me, off camera. Is that weird? I got over it pretty quickly. It actually sounded very hot. Morgan is a few years younger than me and I started to wonder if she knew how to have better sex than I felt pretty dumb. And then I started to feel all competative. Like, Oh yeah? I can to that too! You’ll see! And then I just got horny, and then I just fell asleep. I know she is reading this. Hi morgan =)

Oh yeah- and guess what! I stole your pink pen!

3. Had sex with a condom, on camera with Mayhem and another dude. Mayhem is a new BA girl and she came to the darkside and decided to do videos. Woohoo! She’s really hot. She did a damn good job. We decided to do this video with a condom, because well, I don’t know. It’s been like 5 years since I have had sex with one on and it seemed like a good idea. I kinda liked it. I’m really sensitive and sometimes I feel like a 13 year old boy in bed. It takes me about 5 seconds to cum.. it’s pathetic. Then I am all tired after 15 minutes because at that point I have already cum like 3 times and am about to have another one. The condom made it take a little longer. I was able to get like, a good 9 minutes of fucking in before I started working up to an orgasm and that was pretty awesome. I always knock em but, condoms are OK in my book.

Um. yeah. I did a bunch more shit. Watched the fire works, grilled veggie Kabobs, took make-up sponges out of girls vaginas because they were having a hard time with them. I won’t name names. Unless they give me permission… see when girl’s do videos and they are on their periods they put make-up sponges inside their vaginas… for some reason, of the 5 videos we filmed while I was in New York (I was in 1, and directed the others) 2 of the girls were on their periods. Weird. In any case, both the girls did the make-up sponge trick, neither of them could get them out. I reached my fist in there and did it. It was borderline hot, borderline gross… well that’s what you’re probably thinking. For me it was purely mechanical. I was just trying to help my girlzzzzz out. Yeah.

Blah. Well that whole entry sounded like I wrote it on a lot of speed. I didn’t. I swear. Ew. Gross. I am just high on Bruce Willis, to be honest.

Good night

xoxox

joanna