Hey everyone.

So I went to court for my (I wrote about it in an earlier blog entry) "shooting without a permit" debacle. It isn’t over yet, it’s just started. The cops who were here told me since it is my first offense I will probably get let off easy. But no… that’s not what happened at all. I have learned in life that if you lie to a cop, you can go to jail…. but if a cop lies to you then he’s just doing his job.

In any case, I got to the court at fucking, 8:30 in the morning, and wore this like… really atrocious outfit. It looked like what I used to wear when I was a waitress at a fine dining restaurant. OK I correct myself.. I WAS the exact outfit I wore when I worked at a fine dining restaurant. I still have the same white button down shirt and the same black pants that I wore then. Anytime I go through one of those phases where I’m like cleaning out my closet and throwing shit away, I think about throwing away this very ensemble… but then I think that maybe someone will die, or maybe I will have to go to some kind of family gathering or something where this will come in handy. Someone did not die, and I didn’t have to see any family although going to court is worse than either of those things.OOOOOOk I’m being over-dramatic.

OK, back to the story. So I got to the court. A hand full of people were there. We were a group of responsible delinquents…. who fucked up enough to be here, but were responsible enough to show up at this ungodly hour, in lame outfits, to try and tell the state of California that we’re sorry.

Someone called my name, he was wearing a suit… He pulled me into another room to talk to me. I guess he was the prosecutor… or whatever. He basically said, if you plead guilty- here is what will happen. You will get 1) a $500 fine 2) a 24 month probation from shooting anything anywhere- stills and video- with a permit or not 3) probation forever from shooting in my house.

What?! Yeah. Totally. Bullshit right? I tried to explain to the guy that shooting "movies" wasn’t like, something I did for fun, it was what I did for a living… He didn’t really care. He was like… well are you pleading guilty or not… so I said no… because it would really suck if I had to be really shady and secretive and paranoid about shooting for the next 24 months. I want to legally be able to to my fucking job.. that’s ridiculous.

So I told them I would fight it and they gave me a court date to go back on. Blah.

Anyways, so for some odd reason they told me I had to like, check myself into prison… so I could be in their system. That didn’t make much sense to me- not to sound ignorant (I don’t know THAT much about the law) but I didn’t know if this was a California thing or if this is what happened anywhere if you were charged with a misdemeanor. I don’t know.

So I went down to the jail.It wasn’t a prison or anything… it’s just a holding cell… I don’t think anyone really stays there for more than a few weeks. It was pretty ugly. There was no bathroom in the hallway, no garbage can, and very few lites. See I know this because I had just finished drinking a soda as I approached the jail wing. So then I a) had to pee and b) had a soda can in my hand I wanted to get rid of. Neither of these got accomplished. The only garbage cans and bathrooms were behind the glass, in the jail. Humph! They were not very accommodating to their visitors! There were a few people waiting there. I told the person behind the chain link window that I was there to "book" myself because that was what it was called. I felt sort of dorky, and I don’t know how to say this properly… I also felt very um… white. Like I was wearing my white collared shirt and black stupid pants and everyone else there looked all like… hard. You know- big pants, big shirts… etc. One guy was there who was not wearing anything big, but his jeans were kind ripped and his shirt said "LOS ANGELES" on it. From what I gathered, from his conversation with the other people in the little jail waiting room and his exchange with the jail secretary people…  he was there for beating his wife. Yikes.

A few of the people there were there to "book" themselves like I was… but most of the others were checking in for a longer visit. I was sort of impressed. I thought about what would happen if I was assigned to go to jail… I mean… I probably just wouldn’t go. Is that bad to say? No one brought these people there… they just came on their own to serve their time. And the weird thing was… that when they arrived, and told the jail folk who they were and what they were there for- they were told to wait… for like.. a long time… and they did! I mean, I don’t know…. if someone is responsible enough to show up to check themselves into jail… don’t you think they should get some kind of like… express service? I don’t even know exactly what they were doing back there. It seemed like they were filing paperwork from a system that was invented in the 70’s… with a $4 budget. Like literally, they had papers in clipped together in paper clips that were put away in shoe-boxes, with post-it notes sticking up from the files that listed the people’s names. It was pretty weird.

So people were there waiting… mostly for marijuana charges, one for domestic violence- and me- for shooting porn in my living room. When people asked me what I was there for, my charge was so silly I was embarrassed to say it. Not because I’m embarrassed of my job but like, I just felt very non-threatening around drug dealers and uh… wife beaters. I felt like I was back in middle school… being the dork at the popular girls table. Thank god I didn’t have to stay in jail… these people would totally kick my ass. Actually they were all really nice, except for the wife beater. I didn’t talk to him.

So finally, after an hour they let me go in jail. By that time the wife-beater was brought to his cell… and he looked really angry. I was very pleased that I would not be needing to spend any time with him. OK, enough about him. Anyways, they took my finger prints, asked for my name and my info and looked over the police report about me and the lady kinda laughed and looked confused. See, on the police report, they just put numbers that basically site which law you broke. She had no idea what the number was… she was like "whats 1c?" I said "I shot a porno in my living room" and she looked confused.. and then I added "well, I did it without a permit" and she started laughing. She took my mug shots… I asked if I could keep them but unfortunately I couldn’t get a hold of them. Damn it…

So after that I left. They buzzed me out. I had to wait on a short line before I left because people who were legitimately getting out of jail were leaving too. They looked so happy… I was happy for them. There were two girls and one guy on this line who were all rejoicing in their "release" and I awkwardly stood there, knowing that I had no right to express anything at the moment.

yeah… so my name is in the system now. I am officially an ex-convict, I served about 3 minutes in the Van Nuys jail.

Tomorrow I am going to get my tear-drop tattooed on my face.

xoxoxo

Joanna Angel