yes i know. i have neglected you. i am back. i never really even went anywhere… i guess i have been a little sick. what usually happens when i am sick is that i go to the doctor, and get medication… and then the medication makes me so nautious i get sleepy and shit… and usually forget what was wrong with me in the first place. none of this is exciting, or erotic… i don’t know why I’m telling you this. In any case, for the past week I’ve been falling asleep at embarassingly early times- that might explain why I have not posted any new excitement in my life. Sort of.

Blah.

In any case, a bunch of shit has happened. Last Saturday was an exciting day because it was the first day I was going to shoot porno in my new house. I had a few things planned, a scene with me and Jade *a BA girl who was also in Porny Monster who is super hot and fun) and a penis… and another scene with Jade and Roxy Deville. Also, at the same time… BA girl Cadence was over- she was taking a bunch of naked photos. Cadence has been on Burningangel for a few years now and I have never met her. So this was a jam packed fun filled exciting porn-tastic day. I shot my scene with jade and the penis in the morning. It was pretty fuckin hot. I liked it. I think you will too. OK anyways. The scene with me and Jade and the boy was for BurningAngel.com… the scene with Roxy and Jade was for a new movie I am making that will hopefully be released this summer, called "Girls Girls Girls" featuring a whole hot slew of girl girl scenes. Cadences photos were for BurningAngel.com, although… she changed her mind about taking photos after seeing my super hot scene take place. She decided she wanted to do a video. Woohoo! But that’s a different story… sort of.

In any case, scene one was done, and Cadence took one set of photos. She was getting her makeup done to do her video. Roxy and Jade were going at it. They went down on each other, they used some kinda vibrating toy on one another that gave both of them crazy orgasms, Roxy was all bent over about to get did with a strap-on, and then these two dudes walk in. I figured they were friends of someone- maybe someone’s ride? I didn’t really know. They were both watching kinda creepy like, I was like… ok… um… maybe either Jade or Roxy have a creepy boyfriend that I didn’t know about. Whatever. It’s cool… but then these two dudes started like… talking. I was like.. "Shut the fuck up! We’re filming!" I don’t yell at people often, but I do on occasion when I get into what I call "director mode". And then the guys who I thought were someones creepy boyfriend and friend whipped out their badges and said "STOP FILMING! WE’RE THE POLICE".

So it isn’t illegal to film pornography in Los Angeles. I think it is illegal to film pornography in New York, where we usually shoot and don’t get in trouble for. However, I did learn that it is against the law to film without a permit. Fuckin A dude. You need a permit to film in your own house? That doesn’t make any sense. Chico Wang, who lived in my house before me… shot all sorts of stuff here. Gang-bangs, quadruple anal stuff… you know… crazy shit… I don’t know if it was really quadruple anals but it may as well have been. The cops never showed up. I shoot a girl girl scene and the stupid pigs come and break up up. Grr… God hates me… ok god probably had nothing to do with this but like… who ever it is that controls this shit definitely does.

Let me backtrack for a second. This is the best part of the story that I found out later. My room-mate, who I also call my "homie" is a pot-head. I don’t usually like pot-heads that much but I really love my room-mate in a total platonic way. In any case, so while we were filming he heard a knock on the door and sort of half answered quietly. The cop was like "hey i’m here to pick up Rachel". My homie was 1. stoned, and 2. drunk and 3. not sure if anyone’s name in the house was Rachel. So my homie was like "well they’re shooting now so i can’t let you in there, but I was just about to go smoke a bowl outside if you wanna come with me."

Fortunately, the cops were in a porno busting mood, not in a drug busting mood, so they politely said "I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that."

(Obviously, the cops were in undercover mode so they weren’t in cop gear. Sorry, I should have mentioned that before.)

OK! So that sucked. The cops asked us for our permit which we obviously didn’t have and they confiscated the god damn tape in the camera, and said they were being nice because really if they were assholes, they could have taken away our camera and our lights and shit. From what I hear they give you the tape back when you go to court. I don’t fuckin’ know.

Thank goodness for Roxy and Jade being flirty with the officers. They made all sorts of sexual innuendos at them and I am crossing my fingers that this would pay off in court. I was too angry to do so. I think they noticed how angry I was because one of them said "you don’t like police very much… do you?" and I just scowled. Cadence, just about had a panic attack. I think she actually did have a panic attack and went to grab her xanax in front of the police officers, which was just about as helpful as my homie kindly offering them a hit of his bong.

In any case, Jade and Roxy were patient and after the cops left, we just resumed shooting. The whole thing was retarded. Then at like 2 in the morning I shot my video with Cadence… which was fucking awesome. Like, she was all nervous because she had never 1. done a video or 2. been with a girl. For the first minute of our on camera romance she was extremely frigid and uncomfortable… after I just like… stuck my tongue in her pussy and wiggled around for a sec she had.. and I am not kidding… a 20 minute orgasm. It was crazy. I patted myself on the back like, 4 times. Maybe 5. I was damn proud. It was fucking hot. Cadence has some lame boyfriend who lives in a different state so she doesn’t get laid much. I think she needed me.I would be more than happy to elect these services to any other damsels in distress of that nature.

So that was my police story. I hope you liked it.

I’ll tell you more stories later.

xoxox

Joanna Angel