I went to Wine Country- Napa Valley on my birthday- which just happens to be on Christmas. I think most of you know that my birthday is on Christmas but for those of you who don't- uhh... yeah... my Birthday is on Christmas. Myself and Mr. James Deen went on a quasi romantic/ drunk voyage to Napa for a few days as a Birthday present to me. It was quite nice. I ate a lot of cheese and got extremely drunk. The photo above is me at one of the winery's- looking all prim and proper and shit. As you can see my lips are all purple. My face looks kinda gross. This was one of those pictures where when it was small and on the camera I thought I looked pretty hot- but looking at it now I am like YUCK. Unfortunately I did not bring Destro Damus with me to Napa so the photos aren't so flattering.  So yeah- even though Napa is a very DRUNK place to be, it is also a very sophisticated place. It is not punk. It is quite the opposite of punk. It is a good place for old Jewish people with alcohol problems who don't want to admit they have alcohol problems. I actually don't have enough time for an alcohol problem- and being in Los Angeles I have to drive everywhere- so an alcohol problem would be really counter-productive. Perhaps when I am older my alcohol problem will kick in. Where the hell am I going with this?

Oh yeah. So anyways- as I was saying....Napa is very "sophisticated" and I just wanted you to all know that I am not a sell-out- and I still hoed it up out there, even amongst all the bourgeois- ness. I did not get sucked in! I just want it to be known that when I am on vacation, I am still a hoe.

So on one of the wine tours me and James sneaked around the wine barrels and took some dirty photos. Here are a few. They have been sitting on my desktop for like 2 months now- it is about time I showed them to you. Just close your eyes and pretend it is like December 29th 2008 and I am posting these because THAT is what a responsible blogger would have done.

I know I know- that wasn't a dirty photo... don't worry, they're coming.

So- this kinda dirty sort of.... right? I mean seriously- we were like 3 feet away from a bunch of yuppies getting a lecture about grapes.I could only do so much. I could pretty much do one thing at a time. So here is a portion of my vag.

and here is a boob.

and here is my butt hole and stuff.

I just thought this was kinda funny.

and here I am trying to stick a $700 bottle of wine inside me woooohoo.

and here is the dude who worked at the winery. He caught on to what we were doing and wanted to be in a picture.... so I said yes. Here he is. I forget his name- I think it may have been George but I actually have no idea.

Somehow mysteriously my panties started to unravel. I don't think this was because of anything erotic. See- I only brought my ugly panties on this trip. I save my nice panties for YOU PEOPLE - you know, for dancing gigs, photo-shoots, videos, gang-bangs... you know that sort of thing. I only brought my ugly panties- or as James calls them "grandma panties"- to Nappa because I didn't intend to do any of that stuff. I only intended to drink wine and eat food. But anyways, here are the grandma panties in full effect- along with some sexy razor-burn to boot. In my drunken state, I thought this was hilarious so I took a picture. So I don't know. Keep the photo- maybe if I am really famous one day it can be used as some kind of black-mail or something.

errrrm- you can also find this same blog entry on xoxojoannaangel.com