It is raining in LA. Everyone is complaining about it everywhere but I kinda like it. LA’s weather is so perfect it feels inhuman a lot- just like a lot of the people out here. Imperfections are awesome. That is why I like rain, and crooked teeth, and little beer guts. Not big ones- but little ones are cute.

I am going out with Jenna Haze tonight… no I am not name dropping I am just going out with her in a bit. We are both busy so we don’t get to hang out much but tonight is our special hang out night. Last night me and Madison went to a restaurant I really like- it’s called Aroma and it’s in Encino. I ate a lot of hummus. When I look on the hummus container it says a serving is two table-spoons. If that is infact correct than I ate like at least 15 servings. Who the hell only eats two table-spoons of hummus at a time?! That’s just cruel.

Pittsburgh was awesome last weekend. As I am sure you have read the excitement on other girls blogs like Draven, Morgan and Nova. Thank you so much for coming girls. It really makes me happy to know that you guys would drive so far to see me naked, after seeing me naked so many millions of times. That is just so heartwarming.I am getting OK at feature dancing I think. Brian Street Team told me I should spit on my vagina on stage…. I don’t know where he got the idea from but it is quite fun. It is a thrill to lie down on a dirty stage and spit on my private parts. I don’t know why… there is just something very um… zen about it. I hope I can do it in a town near you.

It was also quite an experience to be in Pittsburgh during the superbowl weekend. Everyone in the whole damn city wore something with a Steelers logo on it. You know the the terrible racial stereotype people say about all black people looking the same? Well- I don’t think that’s true. But I do think that every guy in Pittsburgh during Superbowl weekend DOES look the same. I know this because I walked up to a guy and asked him if he wanted a lap dance… after he said no I walked up to him again and asked him the same question. He was like “honey- you JUST asked me that!” and I had no idea. Seriously. Every guy in the strip club (other than the awesome BurningAngel fans who came specifically to see me- and thank you VERY much for doing that) was fat, white and had a moustache, and wore a Steelers jersey. I could not tell the difference. I am sorry. I am sure fat Pittsburgh men probably think the same thing about all girls with tattooes so I don’t really feel THAT bad about the generalization.

Oh and also- someone called me a poser. I thought I should bring that to your attention. He told me he was expecting me to dance to Lamb of God, and Fear Factory. I said I had Lamb of God in my IPOD but I didn’t dance to them on stage… and I never really cared for Fear Factory. Then he said something about only posers listening to Bullet for My Valentine- who I dance to. I also dance to Killswitch Engage who I think sound a lot like Lamb of God only a lot better. I guess the vagina spitting did not do the trick for him- apparently, he required vagina spitting and uh… Fear Factory. I really didn’t know I was even supposed to like Fear Factory. Someone in the band gets his hair done at the same place I do. Next time I see him I am going to spit on my vagina and see how HE feels about it. HUMPH.

I am in a big rush and I am going to break all the blogger rules and not hyperlink or bold anything. I will go back in and do it later. A lazy blog is better than no blog at all…. right?

xoxo