I need a blog manager or something. Shit just keeps happening in my life and time goes by and I don’t blog about them. Yes- Obama won- and it was awesome… but how can I even start telling you about then when I haven’t showed you my photos from Halloween?

I don’t know how many of you have seen Re-Penetrator- but- it was one of my very first movies. Doug Sakmann directed it- he came up with the idea after I expressed interest in making a zombie porno to put on BA for Halloween. It’s a parody of the classic movie “Re-Animator” by. Basically, in the pornofied version of the story- what happens is that I am a zombie that gets brought back to life… and then I get like, super horny because I hadn’t had sex in 20 years…. and then I fuck the mad scientist to death.

The story of the Re-Penetrator is kind of sad. Sometimes I feel like Re-Penetrator is like a lost puppy dog or something. Like- we made it, and put it on BurningAngel in 2004, then we had to take it down because our billing company said they couldn’t do billing for anything that has blood on it. We never realized that this clause included fake blood too. So we took it offline- and people emailed us and asked for it back like every single day- so we decided to put the scene onto a DVD. At that time we didn’t have any distribution deal or anything like that so we just sold it on the website. Eventually we did get a distro deal for our other BurningAngel titles but- the company had a hard time getting Re-Penetrator into porn stores. Everyone thought it was too extreme- and the Bush administration cracking down on the porn industry was not helping our cause. The funny thing about the movie is that it is so completely goofy and ridiculous- and any “violence” is completely- and very obviously fake. It did win for “most outrageous sex scene” at the AVN awards show in 2005- it was my very first porn award. That same year, the first movie I directed for Hustler- “Joanna’s Angels” that was nominated for several AVN awards as well- but didn’t win anything. It lost just about every award it was nominated for to Pirates- which was understandable. The fact that my Hustler movie lost all the awards and the movie I did completely on my own on a budget that was less than what most people spend on an evening of drinking- was pretty awesome. Lots of people say AVN is all political and rigged and what not- which I am sure it is, for a lot of the awards. However- the 2005 award for “most outrageous sex scene” was most certainly not rigged, and it was not a political thing- or anything of the sort. It simply was the most outrageous scene that came out that year.

Anyways, last year we switched distribution companies (we now go through vouyer media) who wants nothing to do with Re-Penetrator at all. We are going to try to re-release it through Halo-8 in January- they distribute horror movies, not porn… I think that might be a more appropriate place for it. We will see. As of now, It’s still sold on BurningAngel- due to the obscenity laws and what not- we cant’ ship the movie to most zip-codes… which is just so ridiculous. Why does everyone hate zombie sex so much! I find it so strange that my gang-bang is totally cool with everyone but zombie sex isn’t.  Hopefully now with Obama in power the consequences for having zombie porn in your store will be much more lax- I mean, maybe him and Michelle re-enact horror movies in their bedroom all the time? YES WE CAN- MAKE ZOMBIE PORN!!

Blah blah blah- well the pure insanity of the movie and the fact that it’s just damn near impossible to buy anywhere has really made Re-Penetrator develop a cult following. One of the many Re-Penetrator admirers in the world is a NYC fetish promoter named Xris- who proposed the idea to perform the movie live at his Halloween party- kinda like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I thought the idea was awesome.

There were a few issues- my co-star of of the movie Tommy Pistol now lives in LA, and recently had a kid. He couldn’t leave his wife and kid for a weekend to have zombie sex on a stage in New York. So fortunately, James Deen, my you know… “boyfriend” (UG- I REALLY HATE THAT WORD FOR SOME REASON) voulenteered to play Dr.Hubert Breast for the evening. OK ok… he didn’t voulenteer at all, I kinda made him do it.

Also- Xris told me his party could get shut down if any “real” sex went on on the stage. I thought he was just saying this as a silly precaution. Like I figured this was his way of saying “well you’re not allowed to do this but I am gonna look the other way when you perform on stage”. I had fully intended to have real hardcore zombie sex on the stage, but unfortunately- before I went on Xris was like- yo- seriously- no penetration or I will get sued. Sooooo I was like, alright- DAMN IT I will try to give you the best zombie dry-humping performance ever in the history of zombie dry-humping.

To compensate for the lack of sex, we just doused everyon in fake blood and green goo- including myself and everyone in the audience. Oh yeah- and silly string too. Since we weren’t allowed to produce real seamen we used silly string for the effect. We also added Jessie Lee into the equasion. She was like, the slutty zombie assistant.

We were supposed to put a tarp down on the stage but um… we kinda forgot to do that. Doug is not so good at remembering precautionary things. The cleanup guys were not happy!

Anyways, it was a lot of fun. I think we should put RE-Penetrator on Broadway- don’t you! The show was so messy and so insane- I kinda felt like I was in GWAR or something.

Well here are the photos from the evening. You can find more photos of rhe event on DrivenbyBoredom.com.

Thanks for everyone who did come out and see it. Sorry there was no “real” penetration.

this was me with half of my “zombie naughty nurse” costume on PRE performance.

Sorry if this made you a little nautious.

Acutally, fuck that. I’m not really sorry at all!