hey-

it's like, 4am in NJ and I have to get up in about 3 hours to go to the convention. 

I want to share two things with you. 

1- I got on a plane on tuesday night, about 11pm LA time. I got off the plane at 6am NY or umm... NJ time for that matter. I flew into Newark, NJ. My mother came to pick me up from the airport. She lives very close to there. I had three suitcases, and my laptop bag. I know- kinda crazy... but I am feature dancing next week for 4 days straight in Sacramento, which means I need a shitload of outfits. Also, one suitcase was packed entirely with DVD's for the convention. Blah- yeah- I threw my suitcases into my moms car and passed out in the passengers seat. I woke up about 20 minutes later- I looked around the car and then panicked. My laptop bag wasn't there. And like, I don't have a desktop at home and then carry a laptop with me on the road- my laptop is my only computer and when you run a web company your computer is pretty fucking important. So yeah- I pretty much left the most important thing in my life on the curb of the Newark airport.

I cried and yelled MOM TURN AROUND- she was in the middle of the New Jersey Turnpike. The exits are miles apart from eachother. She made one of the most illigal U-turns I had ever seen in my life. It entailed driving backwards on the high-way on the shoulder lane and then going through a bunch of cones. I kinda felt like we were in an action scene of Die Hard or something.

My mom is really religious. I have always antagonized her for this-but for the first time in my life I said "Mom- can you please say a prayer?Seriously- like can you pray for the laptop?"

So she said ok. I guess she had a lap-top prayer on hand, or something. She started chanting some weird prayer and seemed to have forgotton some of the words so she reached for her glove compartment to grab her prayer book to refresh her memory. All the meanwhile she was not paying attention to the road. I made her pull over and said - "MOM- I'LL DRIVE- YOU PRAY!" So we switched spots and she continued. This all seemed really logical at 6am. 

Anyways- I got back to the Newark airport and a whole bunch of security guards surrounding my bag outside. I guess they thought it was some kind of bomb.They evacuated the whole outside.... I am sure people who were wating to get pickd up were incredibly pissed off. Yeah. I told them that was my bag and I had to go through this whole like, hour long process to convince them that it actually was my bag, and that I was actually not a terrorist- and that my mom was holding a big blue book with hebrew writing all over it and chanting to herself becase she was just praying for the laptop.

Sorry- I hope that didn't freak you out.

Anyways, I have been preparing for the NY XXXotica convention that's not in New York which isn't eaxactly good religious girl behavior but- I made a pact with the laptop god and told him (or her?) that I would keep kosher for a little while if my laptop turned out to be not-lost. I have kept my pact for the past 3 days but I have also been staying with my mom who keeps super kosher so I dunno. I'm worried that if I break my pact that my laptop will mysteriously dissappear. 

2- my second story (man I totally didn't intend to tell you all those details in my last story but it just kind of happened) well like I said- I had three bags... right? One was full of clothes, the other full of DVD's, and the other was full of shoes. I brought 6 pairs of shoes. That's a lot of shoes and that requires it's own bag. I looked in the bag a few hours ago and guess what. I somehow managed to have brought only 1 shoes from each pair- for 5 out of the 6 pairs of shoes. So yeah. I have one pair of shoes, and then 5 single shoes... I thought- oh man- maybe some freak at the airport went through my bag and stole my shoes. I called James and asked him to look in my closet and described the shoes to him and uhhh... yeah- they were all there. And not to get even more jewish on you but- bringing 3 bags on a plane costs $165. 1st bag= $15, 2nd bag- $25, and 3rd bag- $125. I don't know why the price goes up 100% between bag # 2 and # 3 but- well it does. So I basically paid $125 to take 5 single shoes onto a plane. 

yeah. 

HELP

so the moral of the story is- if you want to come and visit me at New York XXXotica that't not in New York- a new pair of shoes would be greatly appreciated. I am a size 6. 

I hope you don't find me completely insane after reading this. 

anyways- now I am off to get my 2 hours of sleep. 

xoxox

Joanna