Skate or Die
Last week I went to the Transworld Skateboarding Awards show. I never
blogged about it because ... well it is really hot outside. It has made
me lose my will to live.
It is still hot but I did purchase a few flowey summer dresses that have rejuvenated my will to live.
OH MY GOD that was really morbid sounding. Sorry. But really it is like
107 degrees outside and my air conditioner is like giving up.
Anyways, why was I at the skateboarding awards show? Well, you see, I
was asked to be the "trophy girl" - it was a really complicated job. It
entailed handing out trophy's to the winners on stage. Porn star Asa
Akira was also a trophy girl as well. It was a nice balance I think- a
hot asain girl along side a Jewish girl.
Every awards show I have been to in my life has been a porn awards
show. I've watched other ones on TV like the VMA's and the Grammy's and
shit but I have never been to any of those. The biggest porn awards
show obviously is the AVN awards show but through the years I have been
to the XRCO awards, and the FAME awards as well
I've had a lot of friends throughout the years beg me for tickets to
the AVN awards, and I usually talk them out of it. I don't know if
you've seen the show (it's been replayed on Showtime every few hours
for the past few months) but it's actually quite boring. It's a real
deal serious awards show... girls spend more on their dresses than most
of you make in six months... and people really cry, and scowl at each
other when they don't win what they thought they should have won. Every
time someone goes on stage to get their award, half the crowd whispers
to each other things like "oh my god, I can't believe she won that
award... what the fuck, she TOTALLY didn't deserve that." I have to
admit, I am guilty of this crime as well. Seriously, I don't think you
guys understand how much emotional stress, and drama ensues over the
tough competition to win an award for "best blowjob."
The friends of mine who have gone to the show left really disappointed.
They expected to see a big orgy. Unfortunately porn stars aren't doing
porn 24 hours a day 7 days a week... that includes myself- and I
definitely don't wanna partake in an orgy wearing the most expensive
dress I own. Hey don't get me wrong- I love getting dolled up for the
show, I love the stress of looking for a dress, and thinking of a
hairstyle, and I really do love leaving the show with a piece of
plastic with my name on it congratulating me on making some of the best
smut out there.... but the AVN awards is definitely a room full of porn
stars being as un-porny as possible. Everyone's sexuality is completely
non-existent for those two hours... the only thought in our heads is I
WANT TO WIN! and "does my hair look OK?"
The Transworld awards show though- was quite the opposite. Everyone
went on stage to accept their awards with a blunt in one hand, and a
can of PBR in the other. Everyone there was wearing Vans, cut off
shorts, and a tee shirt with some skateboarding companies name on it.
And when "Fully Flared" won for best video- I have never seen a crowd
rejoice as much as they did. Seriously- everyone was so HAPPY for them.
A skater by the name of "Guy Mariano" won just about every important
award that night. The more awards he won, the happier everyone seemed
to be. Fellow skaters and even opponents who were nominated for the
same things he was, and lost- rushed the stage to hand him more weed,
hug him, and give him "hi fives" and shit. It was really, quite
beautiful.
Anyways, this whole night kind of inspired me. It's easy to get caught
up in all the competitive porn nonsense, because the truth is, winning
awards does really feel good and losing them does not.... but uh... if
everyone in the world acted like a skater than I think it would be a
happier place.
Here are a few pictures from the show.
heres me and Asa and Matt Miller
and here is me and Asa and Tony Hawk
Oh and PS- I guess Tony Hawk is like the Jenna Jameson of skateboarding
right? I mean, if someone knows nothing about porn, they still know who
Jenna Jameson is. I know nothing about skateboarding... but I
definitely know who Tony Hawk is. At the AVN awards, Jenna brings a
body guard, and Tito (who is bigger than her body guard) and an
assortment of managers and publicists and what not. It's always a
"thing" backstage at the show. Everyone in porn always wants to talk to
Jenna but it's pretty hard to even smile at her. Tony Hawk just kinda
rolled up by himself... and like... sat backstage just looking at his
phone and eating peanuts. I thought it would be impossible to get a
picture with him, but I probably could have taken like 20 more and he
wouldn't have cared.
and here is me- totally over dressed- but whatever.
and here is me and Asa again- holding up and issue of a skateboarding magazine that neither of us have ever read.
xoxo
Joanna Angel
Dnothing!
