i am listening to Black Dahlia Murder as I write this and I am trying to write as fast as the music.

I think they are my new favorite metal band. New as in I just started listening to them, and new as in, they are kinda new. Not like brand new, but you know... when you are my age metal usually means Slayer and Motley Crue and BDM is a lot newer than those bands. I like em. Today my friend came over and painted a big demon in my living room as well, and listening to Black Dahlia Murder in a room with a demon painted on the wall is making me feel very um... you know... satanic and shit.

I was in New York, then I was in LA, then I was in New York again, then I was in Canada, and now I am back in LA. I'm gonna stay here for a bit and not go on any airplanes again for at least a month. My closet is a mess, there are like six different suitcases with half dirty clothing in them. I have also consumed so much alcohol on my trips to both New York and Canada and I think I'm getting a little tummy. I need to live life on the lame side for a little bit so my little stomach goes away before LA Erotica which I hope you are all going to.

In addition to the alcohol- I actually know another reason why I am looking a little tub-o-liscious. See, there is this little trick you can do so you won't get your period if you're on birth control. The Lovely Brenda told me about this trick, and maybe I shouldn't have listened to her because she has a baby... but that's a different story. In any case, if you just jump from one birth control packet to the next, and not take the sugar pills... you can just skip over your period. I was supposed to have my period when I was in Canada, and I was like, fuck that, I want to have sex when I am in canada. Who wants to go to Canada and not have sex- or like, have period sex.... which is eh... I dunno... not my cup of tea. Montreal is a city full of hot girls and I really didn't want to meet some and bleed all over their fingers. So when you do this little lovely brenda trick, you successfully don't get your period- the downside is, you do put on a few pounds, the other is that you get really cranky and emotional. The only other time I did this was in December when I did my gang bang. Since I am the boss I can cancel scenes when I am like, you know, bleeding and shit.... but a gang-bang is a scheduling nightmare. I was pretty particular about which five people I wanted to have sex with at the same time and they all have somewhat hectic lives... I knew I couldn't change the date. Don't worry, you will see the gangbang in September. I think I will put it out then. Or I might hold on to it until you beg for it. I dunno... I'll see what I feel like doing.

Anyways, I hope I de-flate sometime soon because I feel like a balloon.

I didn't have THAT much sex in Canada. Only twice, and it was on camera... but both times were fun. Once was with Sparky and my boyfriend, and another time with my boyfriend and this hooker named Sarah Wild. The scene with the hooker was for Zero Tolerance, not for BurningAngel. We aren't really the kinda company that shoots hookers. Sarah was super hot though... like in that blond haired and fake tan sort of way. Her boobs were very perky natural D's and her ass was really round. I think she was on a lot of drugs when she was banging me and I didn't understand a word she said because she only spoke French but... yeah... it was alright. I didn't mind so much. You don't have to know much French to enjoy a French hooker's company.  After the scene we both went to get a drink... I ordered a vodka and cranberry and she ordered a triple vodka with a splash of soda. The bartender got confused because there wasn't any room for soda in the cup after the three shots but sarah said it was cool and just drank the vodka without any soda. She drank that think in like 4 seconds... it was kind of amazing. If you're ever in the mood to spend $400 an hour on someone and you're in Montreal I would highly recommend her. She gave me her card, I still have them on my dresser. If you decide to order her let me know. I'll meet you in Montreal and maybe chip in like 50 bucks so I can have like, 15 minutes or so. That's all I really need.

have a good night!

xoxox

joanna