Eden Von Sleaze

I'm on the couch sick, and feeling pretty yuck right now. My boyfriend went to the drugstore to buy me things to help me feel better. Right now I am full of codeine and xanex and I feel a bit high. I wish I could always be high. Not like full on fucked up.. just functioning loopy.

So on a more serious note today when I was cleaning up the apartment and preparing to move out I really started to think about alot. I was in my room taking down sid vicious and johnny depp posters and all the stuff of my walls that I have plastered everywhere since high school...and putting away all my stuffed animals.. and I took a step back and looked at the empty shelves and stark white walls in the room that has been my home for the past three years.

I remember the day I moved in, and I remember the girl that came to LA. I am a completely different person then I was. Yes, Los Angeles does change people but so does 3 years, fucking up, falling deeply in love and having my eyes opened to whats really important.

On the stairway to adulthood I took the elevator. I grew up fast, and was well on my way to burning out quick.

about a month and a half ago I was having a conversation with a friend of mine involving my lifestyle etc.. and he said something that really stuck with me.. He told me to reflect.. on the i was taking, and if it would eventually lead me to were I want to be in life... the answer was now.

I came to a point in my life, a fork in the road, If I chose one path the easy one, I would have burned out very fast. I went the other direction. Believe it or not I would prefer a some what normal existence,



Something has changed inside me...



and it feels really good... I know life isn't easy, but it sure is fucking beautiful.