My friend Ellen (who is the amazing photographer behind www.staggstreet.com) and I hopped in a cab last night to go to The Penthouse Club.  The cabbie knew the address before we even finished giving it to him, so Ellen asked if he had ever been to the club.  In response, he turned on all the lights in the cab and flashed a HUGE wooden crucifix at us.  We asked if we were going to hell for going to a strip club.  The cabbie then proceeded to tell us that we had no idea what hell was like, that it "is scorpions and snakes eating away all the time," and that we were not to look at eachother naked or touch ourselves.  He kept pointing into the rearview mirror at us, and flashing his cross through the partition.  He also told us: "If you were to invite me to your wedding and buy me a car, I would not believe you, but I would believe jesus christ." 

Ellen and I were still cracking up as we entered The Penthouse Club.  Let me prefice by saying that I didn't do anything sexy at the club like get a lapdance or make out with girls.  I did get to see a ton of really hot titties accessorized in red velvet and marabu.  The whole night made me feel very Christmassed out...I think I'll embrace my Jewish side for the rest of the holiday season.