Im not going to let myself feel small anymore. Im not going to let myself wallow and be stagnant in my emotions while she lives for herself and is being free.
I moved all of my stuff out of her room tonight, and turned the guest room into my own. I played music. I sang, I danced,and I didnt feel bad for one minute. Im going to hang up my Alex Grey prints, and my poster that I had everyone sign like a yearbook from exxxotica.
I got to hang out with my old guitarist, Mario today. We hadnt seen eachother in like 4 months, but it was like we saw eachother the day before. I love friends like that. No weirdness, no drama, just being real. I decided Im going to go out more. Like, a lot more. I need my social life again. I feel like I let so many of my friendships go by the wayside, because I gave everything I had to my ex. Im so glad Im able to keep my head a little clearer.
Honestly, though, I really couldnt have gotten to the place without the help of a few people. 2 of them being Jessie and Joanna.
Jessie; I can honestly say youre one of the best friends Ive ever had. I love you so much, and thank you so much for being there for me, when you weren't feeling well yourself. Youre like a sister to me, and you always know how to make me smile.<3
Joanna; you and James were with me when all this shit went down. On the real, you guys could not have been nicer to me. I love you so much and feel so lucky to be able to call you my friend. <3
You guys have no idea how much this site really means to me. My whole world can cave in, but I know I still have BA and I know everyone here is amazing.
Im getting a Burning Angel tattoo tomorrow. With her permission, the same one as Joanna. I'll post photos soon.
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draven
Dnothing!
