I think I may have found the perfect beauty school for me: http://www.aestheticsarts.com

Academy of Aesthetics Arts and Sciences is only a 15 min. drive from my house, and in the event that I do not re-learn how to drive as quickly as I would like to, there's a buss stop right in front of it. The classes are really REALLY tiny, so a SpEd. case like myself will actually get the one on one attention I need. It's a very calm atmosphere. The focus is on skincare and make up, NOT HAIR, which is probably why it's so calm and quiet. Aesthetician's don't have to talk to their clients while they're working on them. Cosmetologists do. I hate talking to strangers while I'm trying to perform a task that requires concentration and fine motor skills. Working in a salon is hectic. Working in a spa is relaxing. I am entirely too high strung to successfully function in a salon.

Academy of Aesthetics Arts and Sciences has a room for photo shoots so you can build a portfolio at school. Their advanced make up class looks like SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!! THEY TEACH YOU AIR BRUSH MAKEUP!! AND PERIOD MAKE UP! THEY TEACH YOU HOW TO DO FACE CASTING AND SHIT! MAYBE I'LL GET TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNDEAD!!! That aside, at this school I would only have to do 600 hours to get licensed as an aesthetician, as opposed to 1500 or 1600 hours I would need under my belt in order to be licensed as a cosmetologist. That's only four to eight months of school, depending on weather I go full time or part time. They even have AFTERNOON classes! I'd be able to sleep a few extra hours in the morning, so I'd never be late! They actually let you have a little bit of freedom when it comes to your schedule. On girl there goes full time, but only does afternoon and night classes. THAT WOULD BE FUCKING PERFECT FOR ME!!

They still charge you for every hour that you miss, and if you show up late they make you wait outside for an hour. But they give you seven min. to be late and the option of calling them and TELLING THEM YOU ARE RUNNING LATE, as opposed to my old school, that made you wait outside for an hour if you were ONE min. late. And as opposed to Kohler Academy which SENDS YOU HOME FOR THE DAY if your are one min. late, and then charges you for every hour that you missed.

I took a tour of Academy of Aesthetics Arts and Sciences yesterday. The lady who runs the school showed me around herself. She seemed very straightforward and very no bullshit, which usually doesn't happen when one checks out a beauty school. Usually when I check out a beauty school I am showed around by some bubbly, fake-friendly stylist, heavily and blatantly intent upon selling me something. This lady put no pressure on me at all. She didn't blow sunshine up my ass either.

At Kohler they just seem to take themselves entirely too seriously. I mean, what the hell kind of beauty school makes you write an essay on why you want to be there, just to get in? THIS ISN'T COLLEGE PEOPLE. THIS IS FUCKING TECH SCHOOL. I'M NOT HERE TO WRITE BULLSHIT ESSAYS. I DID ENOUGH OF THAT IN HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH CLASS. I'M HERE TO LEARN THINGS HANDS ON DAMN IT! That, and it's located in Scottsdale. Aside from being too far away, Scottsdale is a horrible, HORRIBLE, snobby, rich, soulless town that I want nothing to do with. I want to work on drag queens and extras in b-rated zombie movies! I want to work on other models! I don't want to work on a bunch of uppity republicans! ...Of course I have no delusions of being offered those kinds of awesomely fun jobs the second I get my license. Doing any kind of freelance work is really hard and not a reliable way to pay ones rent unless you've been at it for years. But in the mean time I wouldn't mind working in a spa for my bread and butter, as opposed to some hectic, low end salon.

I don't want to have to learn how to do pedicures either, which is a requirement to get your cosmetology license. I'm sorry, but I'm not touching ANYONES feet in the middle of the blistering hot weather I'm dreading having to experience once summer rolls around here in Arizona. In spite of having a fairly high tolerance for gross things, dirty nasty toe nails, and smelly dead foot skin, are the one thing I CANT deal with. Like seriously. I can't even be in the same room when my boyfriend clips his toe nails. Even hearing it in the other room makes me a little queezy. I can deal with boogers. I can deal with dog poop and wet dog smell (I used to work for a dog groomer. I had to express anal glands all day with no gloves on and I never vomited once.) I can deal with puke. I can deal with popping other peoples pimples, and squishing black heads out of pores. I can deal with ripping hairs out of peoples skin one by one. (I actually get a sense of sick satisfaction when I make pimples explode and from ripping out hair, so I certainly wouldn't mind getting paid for it.) But for some reason I just cant deal with dirty feet. I'm sure I'm not alone on this one.

Anyways, tomorrow I'm checking out Toni and Guy, just to see what else is out there, but I'm pretty sure the school I checked out yesterday is the right one for me. :)