Audrey

What the fuck am I doing with my life? Really. I don't know why but today it's all I can really think about. My whole life I knew exactly what I was going to do. I graduated with a 4.3 GPA, moved out on my own and went straight to a major university when I was 17, and started my life as a biology major with every intention of finishing at the top of my class and going to dental school. I don't know what happened, but when I wasn't in class, I locked myself in my room to study and do homework. It's like I became so consumed by school that I forgot about everything else. I constantly ditched my friends, my boyfriend, my family, I even completely forgot to eat. I was a complete mess. After about 9 months of locking myself away, everything caught up. I ended up in the hospital, with a weight of 99 pounds, and even the word chemistry would make me start crying. It was really bad. I had a medical withdrawl from school and took a semester off to work full time and start paying hospital bills off. Last fall I started at the comunity college here. I'm going to have my AA in one more semester and after that I have no idea what I'm going to do. Part of me wants to just get my degree in business and attempt to start some sort of neat little store where I can be myself and be my own boss. The other part of me wants to get my AA and spend a few more years at the community college training to become a dental assistant. My heart is still there, but I won't be able to be myself. I can't get my arms tattooed, I can't have fun hair, I can't dress how I want. But it will pay me $60,000 a year to start out with. I really don't know what I should do. I kick myself in the ass every single day for quitting. I just don't want to spend all that time and money and hate it. Buhh I don't know what to do.