Ali

Last night was the first time I ever heard Anthrax's among the Living" in a strip club. I was on stage, of course, and had there been metalheads present, they surely would have appreciated how I interpreted the song through exotic dance, but instead, I had the task of entertaining a sole, middle aged, bald on top customer who was probably an accountant or something else very, very boring. I should have just kicked off my stilettos and moshed in my panties... for old times sake. John the DJ would have shat his pants, but instead I just pumped the invisible man while singing along parts here and there. Yes, the accountant was definately made uncomfortable especially during the thrashy part. I tugged on my nipple while saying "FOLLOW ME AND DIE!" and then I winked at him. Even though I was friendly about it, he was frightened. I could see it in his eyes. I tried to alleviate his confusion by telling him the song was about "The Stand" by Stephen King, but he just looked at me, with dollar in hand, like a deer caught in headlights. I may have had been able to sell a lapdance to him had I been dancing to a more soothing anthem, but then what would I be chuckling about today? Allow me to leave you with the image of my ass backing up in synch with my chanting Among! Among! Among! Among! It's hypnotic.